I'm hurting bad today.
Not good.
Not good at all.
But I will survive and go on.
I always do.
and can I just say this:
Marvin is really trying to change his ways.
Maybe I should do the same, huh?
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
I don't know...but I'm starting to see little glimpses....
glimpses of the man he used to be, the man that I fell in love with so many years ago.
Now if I could only find the woman he fell in love with....
I'm afraid she might be gone for good, with only this woman in her place.
And this woman is flawed....she makes mistakes...she is far from perfect.
She cusses a little too much....she drinks mojitos a little too often at times...
she wants it ALL and she wants it NOW...just like Varuka Salt...
she's not very patient...but she has a big heart and is capable of loving.
Even when she doesn't get love in return.
19 comments:
you need therapy....
I thought it was 'Veruca Salt'. Maybe I am confusing it with the way cool girl band, I don't know.
When Bill Clinton said 'I feel your pain', he really meant it, coming from Hope,Arkanas with no Dad and a Mom who scuffled like hell to make sure that whatever opportunity Bill earned as a little boy, he got a shot at it. She may have had bad luck with men, played the ponies and earned too little to do so much with, but somehow she did it.
In short, when he said that I know that he meant it. He did. He had to have felt the pain and the yearning that the disenfranchised had, because if he didn't actually experience it, he was thisclose and could justify knowing as much as he did about stuff.
Right now, I want to say that I feel your pain. Not because the hurt is shared or occured in the same fashion. More that I have lived and felt emotions that have gone thru me and called the words you have used here to life for me.
Am I working thru some of my 'stuff' here? What do you think??
Since you know that you will survive and you know who you need to look for, I am going to send you my best. Would you take any advice I'd offer, make sure you think things through from the best state of mind. Avoid the regret.
I agree with Miss Ginger.
Maybe you guys can fall in love with who you are now. Whatever the case, I really admire you for looking at yourself and not just pointing a finger. (And I know it's your middle one, girl.)
Good luck on this journey.
Hang in there hon. It doesn't sound easy, but like you said, you're a survivor.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Sweetie, you know I luvs ya to pieces and all, but girl, you gotta let go of Cinderella or whatever fairytale you are trying to live. You ain't never gonna be that girl again, you are way smarter, have kids, and know a little bit more about life. You are twenty-yards ahead of that naive bee-yatch in the 50-yard dash. Marvin, well, the same. Rather than trying to be those silly kids, why not try to be better adults? From what I could tell in NYC, you're pretty great already, why not let Marvin meet her? Sounds like he is trying to introduce you to adult-and-improved Marvin. Stop trying to be pretend fairy princess and join us in the real world. You might enjoy it. You might not wanna hear it, but when has that stopped me? But still loving you, and you can visit me anytime.
Love yourself, sweetie - it all falls into place when you achieve that.
And you are a survivor - and so very lovable!
I am in therapy.....and thanks for all the good advie and love peoples!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Happy Birthday, babe. Stop by my blog @1PM Mwah!
I don't comment often Beth, but I come to check on what's happening in your life. I know this (from experience) -- we are never going to be who we were because life happens and we change. Fighting that chnge can make us miserable. It's loving ourselves and others loving us as we change, that's what happens, even if we aren't looking. Jennie and Howard said it best. Keep hope and look forward, not backwards. ♥
And today is your birthday? Well happy birthday -- may this coming year be filled with possibilities.
Miss Ginger and Joy are correct...you need major therapy! You are nuts.
That guy Howard is right. Do the best you can with what you have. The grass ain't greener....except on vacations.
I still love though girl! And I miss ya too..........Happy Birthday also girl. Dance that ass off tonight!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO-Maddie
Happy Birthday! We can never go back, only forward- and you can be whatever you want to be..
Everyone can benefit from therapy. I didn't say you're nuts; you've been through a lot and will make it! I do like what Howard said.
There's no sense in looking for the person he used to be, or lamenting that you're not the person you used to be. Everyone changes over time. Hopefully the change is in the form of growth, and hopefully both people in a couple change and grow together over time. So don't look back at what used to be. Instead, try to work with Marvin toward being the people you WANT to be.
Howard is exactly right! You are the mother fucking man.
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