For My Tranny. Lunch.

useless valuable information that may come in handy one day when you're on Jeopardy and there is a question about me

little known facts:

I am very very competitive. I HATE to lose. at anything. I don't care what it is. Whenever we go out to eat as a family, and the bill comes, we always have to take turns guessing what the total is. we've always done this, I don't know why. but I HATE to be the loser!


I have a very high IQ, but still have to call my son and have him talk me through connecting to the Internet when my computer goes on the fritz. stupid


I once nursed a baby while driving a car. oops!


I have no desire to have the latest cell phone. Phones are a tool of the devil. I like my old, cracked, dented phone, with the horrible camera on it.


I sometimes play the lottery and then dream of what I would do with all that money. I think everyone does this tho.


I don't let my boys sing any "oldie" if they can't tell me who first sang that particular song. last night, Evan was singing "You can go your own wayyyyyy, go your own wayyyy." I made him stop cuz he couldn't tell me who sang it.


I hate for pictures to be crooked. or my curtains to be crooked. or anything to be a little "off". drives me nuts.


I put 2 BIG spoonfuls of sugar in my tea. Bobbie Jean hates this.


I've finally learned how to harmonize when singing.


I can't sleep naked. can't do it. always have to have clothes on.


I sometimes wear my husbands boxers if I haven't washed clothes in a while.


I secretly LOVE it that my youngest son is now taller than me. and that he finally has hair in his armpits. he's growing!!! YAY!!!!


I can tell you all kinds of ways to eat healthy and how to lose weight...but can't do it myself.


I love to eat the sour grass that grows in our yard. I used to call them "clovers" but it's just sour grass as far as I know. I love that sour taste.


I can be really obnoxious. some people find this very annoying.


I can talk with a British accent really good


I am deathly afraid of bats. and we have LOTS of bats around my house in the summer time. L.O.T.S.


I love sending cards to people.


my right ear itches CONSTANTLY.


My eyes are really green.


I lovelovelove to be home all by myself.


I can only drink tea out of 2 certain mugs. no others.


I think my one son could have been on the autisim spectrum when he was little. he would get fixated on things....and count. everything. his steps. his bites of food. be off in his own little world alot of the time. My mom always said he was from another planet.


my 2 boys are are always accidently calling me on their cell phones from school. I can hear what they're talking about...who they're talking to...I listen to their whole converstaions with other kids. They don't even know their phone has called me. I love peeking into their lives like this, to see who they are when they're at school.


I can really hold a grudge. mannnnnnn, if you do me wrong, I never forget it.

The old Ball and Chain

How can we go from 87 degrees to 47 degrees in one day? I came home from the track meet last night frozen solid. It was cold and rainy and miserable.

ok, so I'm having a little "procedure" done at my gyno's next month. So I had to fill a couple of prescriptions for this "procedure". One was for Valium and the other was for some kind of strong pain medicine that I have never heard of before, in the form of a shot. so I had to get a syringe too.

Well, after visiting every single stupid pharmacy in my area, cuz they've never even heard of this medicine before, I finally found it at good 'ole CVS. But it was like I was trying to buy some kind of toxic warfare, bio-chemical crap. They had all kinds of questions for me, I had to show ID, all kinds of crazy mess.

and then when I want to buy Claritin for my poor allergic child, I have to show ID and they will only sell me so much in so many days. I'm not building a Meth lab people! I'm just trying to get my kid some relief from his allergies!

So about this "procedure"...it's called Novasure, and they burn the lining of your uterus off. sounds wonderful, no? well, the rep for Novasure has to be in the room while the doctor does it. His name is Mark and "he's a great guy". Well, Mark might be a great guy, but I don't know him from Adam and don't really want him in the room when I'm spread eagle on the table under the influence of powerful drugs! Who knows what could get lost up in there???! They could leave their car keys or remote for the tv or something...you just never know. So it makes me a little nervous to get this done. That and the fact that you bleed for like 6 weeks! WTH? I'm done having babies! I don't want to bleed like that again! I'm goin going on vacation!

So last Saturday, hubs and I went to a NAACP banquet. I didn't want to go, and fought all day to stay home, but being the dutiful little wife that I am, I went. Same 'ole, same 'ole...chicken, potatoes, pasta and salad. But the speaker was a guy named Avery Friedman, a civil rights attorney who speaks on CNN on the weekends. And he was good. Really good. And he quoted Langston Hughes,

"W are all bound in chains and don't even realize that we hold the key."

I thought that was profound.

Tampons running wild

Now, I don't mean to pick on 'ole Britt Britt, cuz I am lovin her right now. I sing "Circus" at the top of my lungs when it comes ont he radio...driving my boys crazy.

But....COME ON!!!

Shouldn't one her "people" tell her to tuck the sting in next time! and how the heck did it sneak out of her pantyhose like that?

ahhh, the runaway tampon string....

Creepy McCreepster

ok, so one day at a track meet...

The jr, high girl's coach was there. He's an older guy named Jerry. His 2 granddaughters are on the track team.

So, I'm taking pictures of the guys high jumping....I take my lens cap off and put it in my back pocket. and I'm busy taking pictures.

Jerry comes up behind me and pats me on my hip/right butt cheek..

"You do Snuff?! is that Snuff in your pocket?!" he says to me

"No Jerry, that's my lens cap....and you should probably keep your hands to yourself."

He just kind of giggles, like he's all cute and stuff.

So a little while later, I'm sitting on the riser steps that some of the officials use to see the finish line better. Again, I'm taking pictures.

Jerry comes up beside me and sticks his hand up my pant leg.

YES. my pant leg.I kick his hand off of me and he says,

"OH! I thought you might think it was a snake or something!"

"No Jerry...the only snake I see is you."

Is this weird or is it just me? he gave me the creeps big time, and I wonder if I should say something to the head varsity coach about it. I mean, he coaches jr. high girls. Now, to be honest, I haven't seen him say/do anything to the girls, but then, I'm not at the practices or meets for jr. high.


and why do weird old guys always hang around ME??!!! I seem to be a magnet for the creepy guys.

Time Travel

The other day on the radio, they were asking the question,

"If you could time travel, past present or future, where would you go and why?"


So, I'm driving and thinking about it, not really paying any attention to where I was going. I think the car got home on Auto Pilot!

I think I would go back to April/May of 1983.

I would still be with Baby Daddy. Now, it's not that I want to be with him NOW, but that time for us was really good, and I would want to tell him to stay away from the bar he robbed and to get his act together.

I often wonder "what if?" What if he had never robbed that bar and got sent to prison? what if we had stayed together and raised our girls? What would our life be like? would he ever get it together? would he still be such a cheater and have babies all over the place with other women? Would I have gotten smart and said ,"Enough!"?

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. alot. We have been together for 23 years and we have a life together, ya know? good and bad, ups and downs, births and deaths, money and no money, vacations, memories....he's the love of my life. But there is always that nagging thing in the background...What if?

Especially now that I have Betsy and Rae is married....what would their father think of this? Would he be involved in their lives if he was still alive? I wish he was, for Betsy's sake. Not so much for Rae, cuz she is a Daddy's Girl all the way and her Daddy is my husband. But I think Betts would like that knowledge of him and what he was life, and his take on her adoption and stuff.

My husband said something once, that he thinks it's "really weird" that Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are so friendly and that they're both remarried but still do things together. he said he could NEVER do that. NEVER EVER. It would be too strange. so I wonder if it would really be that way? would Baby Daddy be welcome in our home, like for Christmas or something, so everyone could be together? I would have no problem with it, cuz I'm secure in where I'm at, but maybe my husband isn't so secure?.....I don't know.

so there's the question:

If you could time travel, past present or future, where would you go and why?

cuteness to the extreme

82 degrees today and it brought out the baby squirrels. I know you probably get tired of my squirrel pictures, but these are too cute! there were 3 babies playing in the tree out back...





can you see all 3 of them in this picture? 2 on the left and a 3rd o n the right.





OH. MY. GA!!!!! It just doesn't get any cuter than this!!!

Disco

DANG!!

Last night on American Idol...

I knew Lil was going to go home, but DANG!

Ryan called her out, said walk across the stage, you're in the bottom 3 and then BOOM! you're going home!!!

that was short!

Why did they do it like that? usually they call the bottom 3 down and then send one back to the couch....not this time!

Shoot!

and the disco "greats"???

Well.....um....ya.

Bina and I used to dance to KC and the Sunshine band all the time....but uh, KC....well,...um. and Freida Payne or whatever her name was...the first one who sang? WTH? Where did they dig her up from? Oh boy, I felt bad for her, embarrassed for her. I really did. It was not good. and then when Thelma Houston came out and did her little "booty shake" thing to the crowd? Oh boy....no woman that age should spread her legs and shake her stuff like that, in front of kids! I'm just sayin! it was NOT pretty.

But it did make me miss disco a little bit.

But just a little bit.

I LOVE this commercial!!! I SOOOO would have done the very same thing when my boys were little!!!

How I'm feeling today

******** No problem. all is good, really. Don't I look happy? ;) You don't think so? neither do I. I'm just....BLAH. YUK. I do look l ike a freakin vampire tho..I am SO White!

Kate is a wench

I was flipping through the channel's last night and came across "Jon & Kate +8".

I wanted to shoot someone after this.

First of all, those older girls are total brats. cannot stand them. and they whine entirely too much for girls their age.

The 6 little ones? shoot me now if I ever say again, that I want another baby. I would kill myself if I had 6 of them. the noise level in that house is amazing. someone is always getting hit on the head, a toy grabbed out of their hands, and someone is always screaming and crying. SHOOT ME.

and that new house they just bought? HELLO! I guess it's a very good job to have 8 kids and your own tv show. So why oh why does Kate scream at Job about using a coupon to buy something? and then hound him for the receipt so she can take it back and get the discount? Is she really as nasty as I think she is, or is it just me? was I just in a rotten mood or something and she got on my last nerve or is she really a B#@$%????

*******************

My boys went to see "Flight of the Concords" last night in Kent. Their older brother bought them all tickets, came and got them, took them to his apartment and then went to the show. They got home late and tried to be sneaky and wanted to stay home this morning. NO WAY JOSE! But I was glad to see all 3 of them spend sometime together without their parents nearby to play referee. Work that crap out yourselves!

********************

So now I'm off to watch "Atonement". Should I be prepared to weep uncontrollably?

What a beautiful day for a sunburn

How I spent my Saturday, in 72 degree weather....at a track meet.




my kid

my kid

some other people's kid

some other kid my kid knows

some random kid (not really)

The Preacher's Wife's kid

NOT my kid

my kid

And Of course, being the White Girl that I am,....I got sunburned. Will I never learn?

I just did something I have never ever done before.

and I am so excited!

I don't know if I can say what it is yet...I have to check with one other person, but I am so excited!!!!

This Country Mouse is getting "citified"!!!


Ok*************

I AM GOING TO NEW YORK CITY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still cannot believe I actually booked a flight. O.M.G!!! I am going to meet Nancy and Kailyn and Tranny and I gotta meet Dog!!! So dog, be prepared to cook me some food baby!!!! and it better not be salmon! ;)

Memorial Day Weekend I will be a tourist in New York City. Who would have ever thunk it?!

Big Regrets

I was listenting to the radio this morning, adn they were talking about the regrets you have from your twenties when you finally reach forty.

Did that make sense?

so I started thinking about it...

5. not going to college. this is a BIG one.

4. not spending more time with my grandma. Writing down her stories and memories. Out of 14 kids in her family, there are only 2 left. that makes me sad.

3. NOT getting a tattoo! But I will fix that one!

2. not traveling like I wanted to. Italy!!! that's my dream trip.

1. not having more kids! I know!!! nuts, right? But I wish I had a baby right now. NO I DON'T! Someone slap me back into my senses!!! Am I CRAZY???! I love my sleep!!!


But I don't regret having my kids so young. That's one of the BEST things I've ever done.

Do you have some regrets from your twenties?

OH! and the #1 regret of 40 years olds? "not spending more time with their parents"

Who woulda thunk it?!

The Fashion Show

Since Bravo lost "Project Runway" they had to come up with a copy...thus, we get "The Fashion Show".

Same thing as Project Runway except the winner gets his/her line actually produced.

Now I love me some Isaac, but no Tim Gunn? No "make it work!"?.... and who's the genuis who thought, "I know!!! Let's get that chick from Destiny's child that nobody knows!!! She can be the co-host/judge!" I mean, she wore "designs" by Beyonce's mother for goodness sake! That gives her the expertise to judge a fashion show? Shoot, then sign me up, cuz I bought crap just like "The House of Derrion" at Walmart! I can judge a fashion show!

So with all that said, I will TOTALLY be watching this show on May 7!

I'm a reality slut like that.

Trooper is single and ready to mingle

I think my Trooper and
Day-Z need to get together.

Neighborhoods

My husband and I went for a walk the other day. All of these houses are within 2-3 blocks of my house.

and they are all empty.



The first two pictures are the same house.










These last two pictures are actually on my road.

This used to be a pretty nice neighborhood when I was growing up, but now we've got drug dealers, and pedophiles living pretty close by. it might be time to get outta Dodge.

scary.

Dilemma

This whole cancer scare really got me to thinking about who my real friends are.

My husband and I were talking in bed one night, and he said I should talk to a "woman friend"...it would probably make me feel better. He wanted to know if I had anyone I could talk to...I told him I have my blog friends, that there were quite a few of you out there who had gone through the same thing and everything turned out ok. he said,

"But you need someone HERE, not on the computer."

He just doesn't get it, does he? My friends from blogs ARE my friends, the ones I depend on. I told him I didn't really have anyone here that I felt comfortable enough to talk to...well, maybe one person but she's getting ready to move away and has her own stuff going on right now. My cousin would be another, but she just lost her husband and her own sister is battling cancer, so I didn't want to burden her anymore. My one friend I've talked to exactly one time on the phone since my mom died. ONCE. True, I don't like to talk on the phone, but it never stopped us before, ya know?

It dawned on my husband too...

"Dang, your blog friends are there for you more than the friends you have here. that's crazy. I never realized that before."

I'm always telling my kids that the people in our house are the most important to us....friends come and go but your brothers and sister should always be there for you. I think they're seeing this finally.

I've had a really bad 6 months, and I've never felt more alone in my whole life...and if it hadn't been for all of you, I would have really fallen through the cracks and disappeared.


**********************************


Sooooooo.........I get a letter in the mail the other day. From someone at my church. A young woman. Young enough to be my own child. and she told me to "check myself"..and she sent me photocopied pages out of the book "A Purpose Driven Life". She said that alot of people at our church have "left or lost interest or let their spiritual life slide. I'm enjoying this book because it has taken me back to the basics of Christianity to check myself and my walk with God. Please check yours too."

Um.........I don't really know how I should take this letter. First thing, it came clear out of the blue. I haven't talked to this person for almost a whole year. yes, we go to the same church, but we don't really belong to the same circle of people, ya know? I mean, she's young and I'm not! ;) and she belongs to a family that has had it in for me since the day I walked through the doors of that church. This young woman's mother does not like me. Has never liked me. Has criticized the magazines I read, the clothes I wear, the way I wear my hair, the color of my hair, the way I raise my kids....anything you can think of, she has judged me about. Now I'm no big spouter of scripture, but doesn't it say in the Bible, "Judge,lest not you be judged?" or something like that? That the hand that YOU judge people with is the way God will judge YOU and what YOU"VE done in your life. If you're accepting and gracious, God will be accepting and gracious...but if you're critical and judgemental, then God will be that way with you also. Right? Well, I don't know a single person who could stand up under the judgement I've received from this woman in particular...and now it seems she has passed that skill onto her daughter.

Now, this young woman has no idea what is going on with me...she doesn't even KNOW me, ok? There's no relationship between the two of us at all. so maybe God put me on her heart? I don't know. She didn't say that in the letter. She didn't even say "I'm worried you haven't been in church and I'm praying for you". Nothing like that. Prayer wasn't even mentioned.

And this is so hard for me to deal with. It's people like that, that kept me out for church for years. Not away from God, in the sense, but away from "church" and the people in "church". Now I know you'll get people like that anywhere, in whatever church you may decide to attend. I know this. But this particular family and the parents especially, have roles of leadership in my church. people look up to them and follow their example and look to them for guidance. I did at one time too, when I was a brand new Christian. I looked up to the husband in this family alot and turned to him for prayer and leadership....only to have him call me repeatedly on the phone and tell me how "sexy" I am. yes, and he would hug a little too long, or stare at your boobs while talking to you...make little remarks that he would never say if his wife were standing beside him, ya know what I mean? And I wasn't the only woman he did this too either...there were quite a few of us at the time. And my husband confronted him about it....but nothing was ever done in the church. he still held the leadership role even tho what he was doing was sinful and wrong. and that disappointed me alot. I lost respect for alot of people when all this went down a few years ago. yes, the group of us women even confronted his wife and told her what he was doing. There were no apologies ever given...no "restitution" given. It was shoved under the rug and ignored. People to this day, think they are such a "happy couple" with a "fantastic marriage" and such "spiritual leaders" in the church.

Well, now his daughter is picking up where her mother and father left off,and has decided to make me her "pet project" I guess. "Pick on Beth, she can take it and it's so much fun!!!"

I guess I'm wondering what in the world gave her the idea that she could write me a letter, clear out of the blue and tell me to "check myself"? Who does she think she is???! She has no idea what I've been going through...she hasn't even lived yet...she is in no position to give me advice on anything, especially my spiritual life! The more I think about it, the angrier I get, but I don't want to stoop to her level and write her back. My husband could not sleep last night, he was so angry. And my kids....Well, Rae wrote her a letter back but hasn't sent it yet. My youngest son wants to throw down!!! And I appreciate that they want to come to my defense, but I don't want them to fall to her level either, ya know? They are better than that.

I kind of want to write her back or face her and just tell her,

"Who do you think you are, telling me to "check myself"? You don't know the first thing about me or what I'm going through.Twenty years from now, When you've lived a life...and made it through a brutal kidnapping and rape, and come through abandonment, and made it through suicide attempts, and maybe, just maybe, walked a mile in MY shoes, God Forbid, and had to give permission to shut life support off to your own mother and held her hand as she struggled to take her last breath...after you've gone through all of that, THEN you can write me a letter and tell me to "check myself"...but not a minute before. You still have alot of growing up to do, and you need to know your place. you are not my peer, or my equal, my family or even my friend. So go run to mommy and daddy and tell them exactly what I told you, because they need to do the same."

I SOO want to do that, but I have to remember...I'm supposed to be the adult here. So I should act like one. I don't want to be malicious or hurt this girl..I mean, she's a few years younger than my Rae, so..I have to be careful. But she DOES have to know that what she did was wrong. and NOT very Christian like.

And I think we've finally come to the realization that it's time to go. The friends that we once had there...well, times change, people change. We're just "acquaintances" now...not really friends. Friends are involved with each other's lives. We don't really have any ties to this church anymore. My family HATES the music with a passion...and we'd really like to find a church that is more racially mixed...somewhere we all fit in, not just one or two of us at a time. I know this church is out there somewhere, we just have to find it.

I'm tired of being judged by humans....who have human faults of their own. We are to strive to be Christlike, but we all fall short of the ideal. I'm tired of phony people...and gossip. and being called lazy cuz I don't go to church. Well, if you made half the effort to find out WHY I'm not in church, maybe you wouldn't call me lazy. Maybe you'd offer to pray with me, to help me come to some sort of resolution with how I'm feeling. I'm tired of selfish people who claim to be friends and care about you, yet vanish when the times get tough.

Is this wrong? Is the "enemy" attacking me and driving a wedge where there shouldn't be one? I don't know. I know that I pray to God all the time, I thank Him for the good news of no cancer and of keeping my family safe, for giving me good, loving friends, that Ive never even met before, but who care for me as if I were part of their family.

I've realized that family can be who you choose ...not necessarily who you share blood with.

And you guys are my Family. And I love you for being there for me. And for supporting me, and asking about me, about my kids, about my stupid dogs for goodness sake! You remember my birthday, you remember my kids names and what's going on with them....

That's what friends do.

So this has soured me on my church. The people aren't what I thought they were, and I know the "church" isn't the people who go there...you'll get jerks no matter where you go. Maybe we've just grown out of this church and it's time to find somewhere else. I don't know. I do know that God will lead us where he wants us.

I just don't think its at this church anymore. From the praise team debacle, to the judgements of so-called "leaders" and their children. it's just not what I want/need in my life anymore.

I love to shop and I bought everything with MY OWN MONEY!!! How good does that feel??? IT FELT INCREDIBLE!!!!!

Happy Easter everyone!!

I had a busy day yesterday, but it was a very wanted busyness.

To start off with, I got a little squirrel to eat out of my hand! TWICE! He was in the tree right by my driveway, and when I went outside, he looked at me..climbed down the tree and came right over to me...sniffed my shoe and then looked up at me like, "Ok, I heard you're the one with the peanuts, so wherte are they?" So I went to get him some peanuts and he followed me to my backyard. I sat down in the yard and put some peanuts in my hand and put my hand down on the ground. I kept talking to him, he would try to come up to me, and then turn around and run...then come back..then run. Finally he figured it was ok and came up to me and took a peanut out of my hand! I was thrilled! I have been trying for a long time to get one to eat out of my hand....now I gotta get him to sit on my lap!!! Of course, my husband the city boy was afraid the squirrel was going to attack me!

So these picures aren't in order but I don't feel like changing them, so we'll just go with 'em the way they are.







Mike and Rae went to see Rae's best friend's new baby, Bohdi. Mike has never changed a diaper before, so he thought he might give it a try...but I think he finally got out of that duty and passed it on to someone else...


This is Rae holding Bohdi. He's 4 weeks old and smiling like crazy. She said he's a very "chill" baby, which is a good thing, cuz his older sister Mytae can be a handful!!!


me and Rae looking very very tired after our day of shopping. We came home and made the boys watch "Twilight" with us! Evan wimped out but Austin hung out for a while.


Rae trying to give Evan a kiss. I bet if it was some other girl besides his sister, he wouldn't be backing away like that!


Austin chillin with Rae on the couch, watching "Twilight"....again. We're kind of obsessed with this stinker now....we talk about "Edward" and "Jacob" all the time, and read the books. Rae and I are like little groupies.


So we went to the mall in the morning and shopped!!! I got these cute "Chucks". They're really comfortable.

these 2 nice scarves...


...2 blazers for $9 each! WooHoo!


and these really cute shoes that look like they came right off the pages of "Lucky".


I also got this cute purse.


We tried on cowboy hats to wear when we're at the beach...I'm sooo not a "hat person"...


...but Rae is. But then that girl looks good in anything really. She has a great smile, no?


Rae also got this cute green purse, and a green scarf.


Oh I love this girl. My our day was so perfect.

We went to the Olive Garden for soup and salad and pigged out. We were so full, we didn't have room for the scrumptious lemon cake they have. darn!

But we talked and talked and laughed and laughed...and shopped. We needed that "Girl"s Day" really bad. Of course, Austin kept texting me asking for clothes too! I would text him back, "Who is this? I don't know anyone with this name." Then he tried calling me but I wouldn't answer.....ahhhhhh, it felt good to ignore the boy for a while! ;) It was GIRL TIME!!!! NO BOYS ALLOWED!

Rae and Mike took off this morning for home. :( But in only 61 days, we will all meet up in Nags Head for a week....and then I think I might be going home with them....cuz they're buying a house!!!! If all goes well, they should close in May sometime. So I would ride home to Raleigh with them and help Rae paint and plant and get her house together.

I'm thinking I should make it back home by the time the boys graduate.

FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!

NO CANCER!!!!!

I cannot even begin to tell you what a relief this is to me. I'm sure you understand anyway...no one wants to hear the big "C" word. My kids have been through the wringer with cancer and I just couldn't bear it if I had to tell them the same thing.

so, Danand I have reason to celebrate!!!! He dodged the bullet too!! WOOHOO!!!! We rock Dan!!!


So, My Girl and her husband are home...we are going to celebrate in the hot tub tonight with a glass of really cheap wine, and then have our Girl's Day tomorrow. I cannot wait to spend some money and be happy about doing it!! ;)

and we pulled a fast one on the boys....Rae told them that I was so happy cuz I found out I was pregnant! HA! They didn't really know what to believe at first...then my Dr. called to remind me of my ultrasound on the 23rd....so that really got them thinking I was pregnant. The youngest was NOT happy, to say the least. He was not about to give up his spot as the Baby!!!


If I was pregnant....you better be looking for a star in the sky....or the mailman. Cuz it surely wouldn't be my husband's baby!!!

*****************

thank you so much everyone, for your thoughts and prayers. It all measn so much to me. adn the e-mails telling me to chill out, it'll be ok. Ya'll got me through this, that's for sure. And She, thanks for calling me today! You rock!!! and Christie and Beth, and Jennie and especially Tranny, Zombieand always Bina. Without the phone calls, e-mails and text messages...I would have collapsed under the weight of it all.

You guys rock so hard!!!!

snottin and snortin and boohooin

Conversation I had with my youngest son, while sitting on the couch, waiting for American Idol:

Him: Mom, have you ever seen the movie, "The Notebook"?

me: no way...that's really sad, isn't it?

him: ya.



......(crickets chirping)......



me: why? have you seen it?

him: Ya, me and Matt watched it. (Matt is his best friend) It was really sad.

me: did you cry?

him: ya......

me: bad crying or just a little bit of crying?

him: bad crying. Really really bad crying. We laid on the couch together and cried like a coupla girls. It was really good movie. I really liked it.


....(crickets chirping)....



me: I am SOOOOOOOO blogging about this!

I think it's ok to:


...only shave your leg up to the line of your shorts


...to buy all of your appetizers frozen at Sam's Club


...to get your tan from a bottle


...to burp really loud


...to like really simple food


...to be more concerned about feeding the birds than your kids


...to pretend your vacation house is really YOUR house


...to NOT be on MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Flutter....and whatever else they come up with


...to be home all alone and dance like you've never danced before...with everything shakin!


...to not know who Lady GaGa is


...to delete all forwarded emails


...to have a crush on a fellow Blogger


...to think Oprah can be incredibly rude


...to eat tapioca out of a can


...to spend $$$ on shampoo and conditioner but buy really cheap toilet paper.


...to wear your pajamas all day long


...to wear socks to bed


what am I forgetting?


*************************

no results yet. oh well.

The Girls

Going to get The Girls squished and smashed again.

and hey, if worse comes to worse....

maybe I'll get a nice new perky set outta the deal, huh? ;)

*********************





Ok, so I'm back.

and just a little more freaked out, if I'm being honest.

so I go in and they say that they need another look cuz the Girls aren't "symmetrical".

Well, hell, I coulda told 'em that!

But I guess there was something on the left boob that wasn't there before....9 years ago, when I had my first mammo.

So, you take your top off, and put on the beautiful, fashionable robe, open in the front.

You go into the room, and you pull your left boob out into the open, for the whole world to see. (not really, it was just one woman, but still)

So, since it's just the left boob, she smashes it again. and when I say she smashes it.....I mean SHE SMASHES IT!. Labor was a piece of cake compared to this pain. My boobies are little and they don't like to be handled so roughly...without getting anything in return! ;)

So, she takes 2 pictures.

"Have a seat in the waiting room across the hall, the Dr. will look at these, and then you can go."

Ok, I can do that.

Why do they only have magazines with breast cancer articles in them? coincidence? I don't think so.

10 minutes later(which felt like 2 hours)

"I have to take another picture."

So I go in and she smashes the poor little thing even more than before. Who knew you could smash a boob that hard without it exploding or popping!

back to the waiting room to wait.

15 minutes later:

"Um, Dr. wants an ultrasound, so come this way."

Ok.

I AM FREAKING OUT NOW!!!!!

So I lay down on the table, they squirt the goo on the boob and start the ultra sound. So I'm asking her all kinds of questions.."just what the heck are you looking for?"

"Well, there's a spot that we need to check...it may be just a cyst."

So she's doing the thingie....and I tell her to turn the screen MY way so I can see too. and there it is. a "spot"....looks like a black hole in my boob. The tech said it's only about the size of half a pea, but on the screen it looks huge, of course.

So, once again, she goes to the dr. and comes back about 15 minutes later.

"You're all done."

WTH? Tell me something!

"The dr. will read the results and will notify your dr, and you'll get a letter from us also. Have a nice day."

"have a nice day?" Beyotch!!!

so, hubs is waiting in the waiting room...yes, he took the day off to go with me. Who woulda thunk it, right? ;)

So I get in the car and start to cry. I've held it together the whole time, but now I'm just a little freaked out. Why do they just send you on your way and expect you to function normally? Ok, so it might just be a cyst, but I wanna know for sure.

So then I get home and my family doctor calls me!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

"Did you have your mammogram done yet?"

"Yes, I just got back."

"Oh, ok. we just wanted to make sure you had it done." (why? why do you wanna make sure? Do you know something I don't know?)

So I tell the chick that I'm freaking out a little bit, and she tells me to call my gyno who ordered the test, tomorrow, and they should be able to tell me something. But he's out of town until Monday! ACCCCKKKKKKKKK! But she said, "If everythings' ok, the office should be able to tell you that much"

So I will be calling tomorrow.

Never a dull moment huh? ;)

And I did tell Rae what's going on, so please send good thoughts and prayers her way. She's a freak like here Mama, and freaks out over minutia. But she and Mike are coming for a visit this week, and we are having a Girl's Day on Saturday!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!

We haven't had a girls day since last May when we were getting ready for her wedding. So we will be partaking of soup and salad at Olive Garden, shopping for vacation clothes, and maybe, just maybe, getting a tattoo together! HAve I ever told you how much I love that girl and want to be just like her when I grow up? She is awesome, and I wish that all of you could meet her one day, cuz you would love her too!!!

I want a puppy SO. BAD!!!

I love firemen

I almost died today.

seriously.

My husband decided to "clean the oven". Now, I am ALL for the husband doing crap in the kitchen...YAYAYAY! and how hard can it be really?...you push a button on the stove and it automatically cleans the oven itself.

so, he puts the cookie sheets in there, so "they can get clean too".

Well, the oven cleans itself and it heats up to 500-600 degrees right? wellllll...

I don't think you're supposed to put anything in there while it's self-cleaning.

the SMOKE!!!!

OHMYGOD!!!

The smoke comes ROLLING out of the top of the stove....just a little bit at first. but then, you can't see anything, there's so much smoke. and the smoke alarm is going off.

"BEEP! BEEP! FIRE! FIRE!"

I'm trying to get my dogs upstairs or at least outside, so they don't die from smoke inhalation. the windows are open, the doors are open, and the smoke is ROLLING full steam ahead! My eyes are stinging and watering, and I can't see anything! then I am wheezing up a storm and can't breathe!

We wake up the youngest boy who is still sleeping, and head outside to the porch. He has asthma and that would not be a good place for him to be, in a smoke filled house.

So hubs goes back in to try and shut the stupid oven off. and he doesn't come back!

I think,"well, I hope his life insurance is paid up, cuz the smoke done got him."

All is well tho. We got the oven shut off and the smoke has finally cleared out. But I can still smell it.

Never a dull moment!

************************************

in other news....I got a letter about my mammogram. they have found an "abnormality" whatever the heck that means. I have to have "more extensive testing" done. which means The Girls have to be squished again. woo. fricking. hoo.

But I'm sure it's nothing, right?




Right?

One Day At A Time

things I did today...

slept in until 9:45AM

ate a mammoth banana nut muffin and half an omelet at Perkins

bought "7 Pounds" and "Marley & Me" at Walmart

and a Star Magazine with an anorexic Tori spelling on the cover

came home and took a nap on the couch

got woken up by The Preacher's Wife's phone call, begging me to give her kids dinner one Sunday while she's gone house hunting in Florida. I guess I can feed them. But then they gotta get. they're brats. ;)

watched "7 Pounds" while my husband slept on the couch

cried at the end of "7 Pounds"

took my youngest son to the mall to get some shorts since he's outgrown all of his. YAYAYAY!!!! ($$$$$$)

went to Target to look for Sally Hershberger hair care stuff

couldn't find it

bought something else instead

stopped at Inner circle Pizza to order a pizza (and garlic wings for youngest)

sat and "people watched"...in other words, watched all the drunk guys get up from the bar and stagger to the bathroom.

came home and ate FOUR pieces of pizza. It was ok. Not the best I've ever had. meh

took a bath for an hour and read my "Lucky" magazine I got in the mail

owe my husband one back rub cuz I bet him it wouldn't be in the mail box when we got home. I lost. damn.

let my old epileptic dog outside for the hundredth time today. I swear his bladder is the size of a peanut.

now I'm headed to bed.

not a bad day at all.

A Day In My Back Yard

Mama Squirrel gettin a little snack


"Please Lord, don't let those big dogs get me"


the Nose Knows


a woodpecker


I may as well take a nap too...


Dang, these peanuts are good...







a little nap...



a little stretch..


...and a yawn.