Sept. 20
2 years ago my mom died.
Or I should say, I pulled the plug on my mom.
Ya, that's harsh, but that's the way I feel.
sometimes I wonder...if she had never had the surgery...would she still be alive and kicking? would she just have passed away in her sleep one night? How can she be ok one week and dead the next?
I don't get it.
I think back to all the times that crazy woman drove. me. nuts. I mean NUTS. and all the times I didn't call her.
or go see her.
or take her to the store with me..
and what I wouldn't give today to be able to do that.
hindsight is 20/20, right? :(
It's been a very rough 2 years. I kind of lost my blooming mind there for a little bit.
Grief took over my life in so many ways, yet I didn't show it. I didn't let it out.
I'm still grieving today but at least it's not so bad.
I miss her.
I miss her so. so. much.
so many changes have come and will be coming, and I know she would want to be here for them.
Yes, our family will be expanding again soon.
And since I have no family but my Blog Family, ya, I'm telling ya'll!!!
My Rae is gonna have a baby! WOOHOO!!!
It just shows me that life goes on....despite our not wanting it to sometimes.
and I know that my mom has met this little baby already......while we have to wait till February! LUCKY!
So while I miss that Crazy Old Bat something awful....
I'm also thankful for what she taught me. ya, she was a horrible mother.
But she was an AWESOME grandmother.
and I learned from both of those experiences.
16 comments:
a new grandbaby!! how fun!
I know you must miss her deeply. Congrats on the new grandbaby!
YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait!!!
Wow - it's been two years already?!? It seems like only yesterday that your Mom passed.
And you are right, your mother has already held that precious Baby that Rae will deliver in February. I'm so excited for you (and them)!
XOXOXOXO
tranny: thanks. I LOVELOVELOVE you even tho I haven't talked to you in AGES. I think about you constantly and love you beyond measure.
I know the grief of losing a parent, it's a tough road. I love you...keep walking it.
A BABY!!! I'm so excited!
Beth, this is a beautiful post. I really loved what you said about learning from the bad as well as the good. You are amazing.
And CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS!!! That is so awesome about Rae! How is she feeling?
Jennie: she was feeling BAD for months but now she's feeling great! tired cuz she's working full time...but just waiting to feel the baby move now. she's 4 months so it should be any time now. I CANNOT WAIT!!!! I am so excited....XOXOXO
Ohmigod, I almost burst into tears, yayyy, a baby!
ggirl: i DID burst into tears when I found out. I couldn't stop crying....and she told us by giving us a card for "the grandparents-to-be" yup....cried like a baby!!!!
Oh, congratulations!
...and hugs.
I can't imagine a life without my mom...the good & the bad.
I kinda wondered when you mentioned in another post about some happy news!! yay! congrats to Rae and her hubby (I can't remember his name...), and to you as well, another new baby. life does go on and your mom will always be in your heart
Life is a mystery but with one loss comes another love one gained...Congrads!
Congrats and I'm emphathize with you on missing your Mom. My dear mother died around this time six years ago. Around late summer and early fall, I'm an emotional wreck too. But that new baby will be just the distraction you need!!!
YAH! Your going to be a granny again! And a sexy granny at that!!!! Sorry I haven't been here much but work is crazy again!!!
Love ya!
For some reason I was thinking it happened in March or April, just a year ago! I can't believe it's been two years. I'm so very sorry Beth. Hope you are healing.
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