Ya know what I hate?

hold on, this could take a while. :)


I hate it when people mis-represent themselves.

To try and "sneak in the back door" sort of thing.

Come at me honestly and as an adult..

not as an immature child.

We can talk as adults, the way mature people do.

But don't be sneaky

or creepy.

That will get you NO WHERE.

Missing my Mom this Christmas season.

Looking back, there has been alot of death in my life.

And I just found out that 2 other relatives have cancer...one stage 4 and in the last days of life.

Cancer sucks balls

I wonder about:


...are ScarJo's boobs real? they LOOK real.

...why some people just cannot let go. Move on. Give up. GROW UP.

...is John Travolta REALLY Gay? I don't really care one way or the other, but people are PASSIONATE about this debate....

...what life would be like today if Bina and I had really moved to CA when we graduated from high school...

...if Murphy loves me as much as I love him. I think he does... :)

...if Im too high maintenance..( i kinda like alot of attention..or I feel abandoned)

...should I just break down and get that tattoo Im always talking about? on my forearm?

...if eating pumpkin bread before noon cancels out any bad calories.

...and if eating 10 tiny muffins equals one BIG muffin

...would winning the lottery bring my brother back around? asking for money? and would I give it to him? or would I be a witch about it? I hope not. (about being a witch..not about winning!)

...I wish I had a fantastic party to go to so I could get a cute little dress and a fabulous pair of heels that I can't walk in.

...I wish I knew what Rae and Mike were having...there are SO many cute baby clothes on sale right now...cute GIRL stuff...that I would LOVE to buy. :)

...im feeling ......"boxed in" again and think a trip is in order.

...now that Ryan Reynolds is single again, should I give him a chance? or make him beg?

I am being a Scrooge.

I really do not like the holidays.

I kinda just want them to be over with already.

I'm trying, I really am....

I'm baking....Im decorating....I have "christmas tree" candles burning...

blah. blah. blah.

It's the "family" thing...and all that.

I guess I need a "new attitude".

So...

what store do I go to, to get me one of those?

:)

The windows are fogging up!

Ya'll know my mother wasn't the BEST mother out there....

butttttttttttttt....

I DO have some good memories.

One memory that really stands out to me right now is when i was little...maybe 4-6 years old. Now her drinking was really really bad at this time...I knew there was something wrong, but, of course, didn't what it was.

But I remember the days when she would make wedding soup.

My mom wasn't Italian. She was German. My Dad is Italian. And when they got married, his aunts took my mom under their wings and taught her how to cook "Italian" food. and when she was pregnant with my brother, they would make her fried pepper sandwiches with melted mozzarella on top. She would make these for me too...YUM.

But back to the wedding soup.

She would cook the chicken for a long time..and then chill the broth and clarify it a couple times...this was a multiple day undertaking to make Italian Wedding soup.

I would help her chop all the celery and carrots and onions...teeny tiny little pieces, sneaking some along the way. and she would cook this in the chicken broth and let me tell you....we lived in a tiny little 4 room house and the smell would permeate the whole place. the windows would fog up...it was a special occasion!

And the meatballs. THE MEATBALLS!!! I never really knew what she put in them but I remember rolling tiny little baby meatballs, and then she would bake them in the oven. the meatballs have always been my favorite part of wedding soup! then she would make the breading. I, to this day, do not know how to make it. There is no recipe from her...she had it in her head. But it was the best part too, next to the meatballs. and the Escarole floating in it...omg.

so today I am making Wedding Soup.

There will be no clarifying of the broth....too much trouble. :)

But there are tiny pieces of celery and carrots and onions.

and in place of the breading there will be Italian salad croutons. hey! Ya gotta improvise, right?

and meatballs.

Lots of little tiny meatballs.

In honor of my mom.