Goodbye

Baby Girl is gone.

I've been without her for 30 hours now. The house is quiet and....... empty somehow. Oh, she didn't do much while she was here, especially at the end. The tumor in her lung was just too big and she couldn't get around very good. she also couldn't breathe. and she looked at me like she was .....tired. she was just tired.

So, we took her to the vet yesterday morning at 9:30. Now, she has never liked riding in the car...would whine the whole time. But this time, she was quiet. I sat in the back with her and pet her head and she just rested her head on my leg...she knew where she was going.

We get to the vet, and lift her out of the car. I didn't want to carry her in..I wanted her to have her dignity about her and be able to walk one last time. To smell the different smells around her...to lay on the cold stone in front of the door.

She walked into the exam room and lay down on the floor. The vet came in and tried to give her the shot in her hind leg, but her veins were bad...blood pressure was low. So she had to move to a front leg. Maddie looked me in my eyes....straight in my eyes. Her brown eyes to my blue ones and laid her head in my hands. and she closed her eyes. I put my mouth right to her ear and told her how much we loved her and what a good girl she had always been.And I felt the life go out of her. Just like that. her head felt heavy in my hands. And I kissed her head.

Baby Girl is gone.