Blind as a Bat

crafty wednesday

2012-01-19T11:46:00.009-05:00

I was feeling "crafty" yesterday. I wanted to make "something" but didn't really know what.

I had this old lamp shade in the basement, sitting on top of the dryer. It was old and kinda falling apart. sooooooo..........(ignore the laundry on the table)

I started ripping it apart! I first thought I'd keep the ribbon, but it was dirty and nasty, so fuhgetaboutit!

then I dragged out my box of Christmas lights...

and, starting at the top of the lamp shade frame, I started wrapping the lights around the frame. and i fastened them to the frame with twist ties from the garbage bags! hey, it's all I had, ok?

This is what it looked like with the lights wrapped all around the frame. This was 4 strings of lights. I just plugged the next string into the previous one, and kind of hid it in the whole mess. :)

Then again, around the bottom of the frame, I fastened the string to the frame with the famous twist ties. those things come in handy, and I always have a drawer full of them cuz we just tie the garbage bags shut. Wait, what was I talking about again?.....

I hung the whole thing from the ceiling by my bed!! I love it!

If you do make this, be sure to start from the TOP of the frame...and give yourself plenty of string to hang it up by. I used 4 strings of lights, but you could less for more "atmosphere" or even fit another 1-2 strings on there to make it brighter. The only bad thing? I gotta get outta bed to unplug it!

2012-01-18T12:16:00.002-05:00

My kitchen is always freezing.

ALWAYS.

So we finally got a space heater the other day and it has a thermostat on it..blah blah blah,.

I woke up this morning and it was 58 degrees in the kitchen. FIFTY EIGHT. (no wonder my plants all die in the winter)

right now it's 68. I have it set for 71. it's only been 3 hours, so there's still time.

Sometimes....

2012-01-16T17:56:00.015-05:00

Most of the time, when I post a photo, I like it to look "nice", ya know? but for every "nice" photo, there are at least 5-6 that aren't so "nice". it usually takes alot of shots to get one good one!

So these are some "outtakes" from our vacation. Not photos that I would necessarily show people, but here they are!

Sometimes, you have to take time out to look at baby crabs

and sometimes, babies grab their cousin's hair and won't let go

Sometimes, little boys don't WANT kisses from their mamas!!

Sometimes, when they're all together, it's really hard to get their attention

Sometimes there are Divas in the group

Sometimes Little Dogs think they can go after Big Dogs on the beach

Sometimes boys are silly

Sometimes, everyone is every where but where they're supposed to be

Sometimes it's fun to tickle your little brother at the most inopportune times

Sometimes the dogs wanna get in on the act too

sometimes things are a little blurry

Sometimes you fall down in the sand and cant get up

Sometimes goodbyes are hard

And sometimes ya just gotta jump on the beds!

things I would say

2012-01-15T11:52:00.002-05:00

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 6 YEAR OLD SELF:

Your mommy loves you. But she's very sick, and feels it's best to stay away from you for a while. Go with your grandma, who loves you. She will take good care of you.

I know you miss your little sister, but one day, you will see that she's in a much better place. heaven is a wonderful place! She will be saved from much heartache, and as much as you love her, I know you want what's best for her.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 12 YEAR OLD SELF:

That Elton John cassette tape you like so much? It belongs to your step-sister, not you. Don't steal it from her and then say she gave it to you. STEP AWAY FROM THE CASSETTE!! Just ask your step mom if you can have one too, to take home with you. She will be more than glad to buy you your own tape. And then you won't be sad for losing your step mom and step sister over a stupid cassette tape.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 14 YEAR OLD SELF:

those Frye boots you have? KEEP THEM FOREVER.

big boobs are over rated.

have fun with your Best Friend, Robina. run around the football stadium playing Nancy Drew...make prank phone calls, steal your grandma's car when she goes to bingo with your aunt. Those are all memories that will stay with you forever.

and always remember what it's like to be that skinny. cuz one day, you won't be.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 17 YEAR OLD SELF:

acne goes away...eventually. But drying your skin out with all that medicine isn't helping. trust.

popularity isn't all it's cracked up to be.

those dreams you have of going to California and riding horses on the beach? DO IT. Go to college and live out your dreams. No dream is too silly or unattainable.

Be nice to your grandma. She loves you and has saved your butt more times than you know. She will always be there for you.

and give your mom a break, while you're at it. you have NO IDEA what her life has been like. she's ill. And one day she will need you to be there for her. And you will be.

Listen to that little voice inside you that tells you to go say hi to Mr. Lavin. This will save you from a horror that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

And if you don't say hi to Mr. Lavin, then do whatever you have to do to survive. a man will grab you and take you to the middle of nowhere and do unspeakable things to you. he will dump you out like you are garbage, and for many many years, you will feel like garbage. Like you're worth nothing. BUT YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING. remember this. and always look over your shoulder for this monster. always.

that boy over there? the one that keeps staring at you? yes, he's kinda scary, but once you get to know him, you'll see that he's very charming and funny. but he's also a LIAR, and he will break your young heart.

You'll fall madly in love with that liar, and you'll get pregnant. DON'T LET PEOPLE BULLY YOU INTO GIVING YOUR BABY UP FOR ADOPTION! BE STRONG! yes, it will be hard...but I have faith in you. You were meant to be a mother. Don't let others direct your life.

That Boy? I'm not going to tell you to stay away from him, because the magnetic pull to him is too great. And he will give you 2 beautiful daughters, who will be the joy of your life. You will want those memories. Just remember the lessons you learn too.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 22 YEAR OLD SELF:

That guy you met at the bar last night? He will be The Love Of Your Life. You won't realize it yet, but he will be. Stick it out. There will be Bad Years and there will be Good Years. soon, the Good years will out weigh the Bad Years.

THINGS I WOULD SAY TO MY 28 YEAR OLD SELF:

get your ass to a doctor and get on an anti depressant. Enough said.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 40 YEAR OLD SELF:

40 isn't so bad, is it? You still look relatively good and your have GREAT kids. And now you have that daughter you gave up for adoption in your life too, cuz you didn't listen to my advice. But she's also made you a Grandma to the sweetest little boy ever. But you feel....."unfulfilled". Do something about it, but don't betray your integrity.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 45 YEAR OLD SELF:

The friends you make from your blog? they are REAL friends. Don't let others tell you different. Some of them will be there for you when you need them most, when you are most alone in the world. THANK THEM. And ENJOY them. DON'T LOSE TOUCH WITH THEM.

LOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT HEIFER! You weigh 190 lbs for goodness sake! That is wayyyy too much for you. Start exercising...eat less. You have teenage boys, but you are NOT one of them, so stop eating like you are. You won't regret it.

there is this thing called Facebook. Yes, you can take part, but watch what you do and say. Cuz it will be out "there" forever.

and remember, just cuz someone says something on Facebook, doesn't mean it's true. You will have an old friend from high school contact you. This person is a liar times 10. Take everything they say with a grain of salt. And see them for what they REALLY are: a pathetic example of a human being, who has very low self esteem and has to lie to make themselves feel important. Pity them. But don't befriend them.

THINGS I WOULD SAY TO MY 65 YEAR OLD SELF:

You've had a good life, with a man who loves you beyond measure. You have children and grandchildren, and they all love you. Appreciate what you have, cuz there are so many people out there who would DIE to trade places with you. Remember that.

and keep your girlfriends close. Go out to lunch. go out dancing! Go to the beach!!! But always use sunscreen. :)

THINGS I WOULD SAY TO MY 80 YEAR OLD SELF:

you've done a good job of letting the people you love, KNOW that you love them. You've kept your free spirit and your laughter. and your "natural" red hair. But it's late now. You can close your eyes and rest. Life will go on without you, but it will be all the richer cuz you were in it.

2012-01-11T13:22:00.002-05:00

So onmy birthday, I had to renew my drivers license.

No big deal.

Till I had to take the eye test.

I pressed my forehead on the little thingie-do and the lady says, "read the 3 line"

(the third line? WHERE THE HELL IS THE THIRD LINE? I CAN'T SEE THE FIRST LINE!)

I had to really really squint to see the letters and numbers. And I had to repeat it 3 times.

But she went ahead and renewed my license. (even tho she probably shouldn't have)

So I am making an appointment to get my eyes checked, again. they are getting worse. Im already legally blind, but it's really no big deal, cuz it can be corrected with glasses/contacts.

But what will I do if it CAN'T be corrected?

I CANNOT LOSE MY DRIVING PRIVILEGES! I CANNOT BE DEPENDENT ON SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE ME WHEREVER i WANT/NEED TO GO!

Oh goodness.....Im askeered.

no words needed

2012-01-10T14:23:00.001-05:00

Murphy

2012-01-07T16:36:00.002-05:00

A few pictures of My Murphy.

Evan looks sorta like a serial killer in this pic! Which I kinda like, since I love me a good serial killer. :)

meh

2012-01-05T18:27:00.010-05:00

I've been sewing all day long. I had company tho, so it wasn't too bad. ;)

so I went through my drawers and found these shirts. They were old stained t-shirts and a sweater. the sweater will wait for another day.

I chose this white one cuz it was pretty big on me. I've never worn it...it sorta looks like a maternity top, if Im honest. But I thought it would be cute as a cardigan. Excuse the wrinkles!!

So I cut it down the middle!

I liked the colors of these shirts together, so I'd make my ruffles from these.

So I laid out the t-shirts and cut off the bottom hem. I didn't think they would ruffle up very good with the bottom hem on.

Then I cut each shirt into strips. I didn't measure anything...just "eye balled" it.

I did this to each of the 3 shirts.

This is the pile of strips I had when done

Then you open up one of the side seams, so you have one long strip.

Then you sew the strips together, according to color, with right sides together...making one veryyyy long strip.

Now here;s the trick...elastic thread. Take an empty bobbin and hand wind the elastic thread onto it. don't pull the elastic tight, just wind it on the bobbin with a normal tension in your hand. then load that bobbin into your machine. and just use any old cotton thread on top, through your needle.

Then on the right side of the fabric strip, sew down the middle. you can see that the elastic bobbin thread naturally ruffles the fabric strip!

I didn't think it was ruffled enough, so I sewed a second line, right beside the first one. this made the ruffle a little "tighter".

I did this to each of the colored strips of fabric. This is what I got when down...a pile of ruffles!

I took the blue one first, cuz I like blue!!! I pinned it all around the cut open edge of the shirt I wanted to make into a cardigan. I sewed it with a zigzag stitch, all around the edge.

I did this with each color of ruffle.

This is the finished product. mmmmmmm...not sure if I like it. I think there are too many ruffles...a little "over-kill" if you ask me. I probably should have just stopped at the blue ruffle, cuz to be honest.....I don't know if I'll ever really wear this! that's horrible, huh? :) Im gonna sit with it for a day or two...then maybe take a row of ruffles off. Or I might wear it with a tank underneath and see if I like it or not. It might be cute belted over the top of it too...Im gonna play around with it and see if I like it or not

This shouldn't take that much time to make. But it took me all freaking day cuz I had to load my bobbin FOUR freaking times! Pissed me off! I only had one open bobbin, so I had to stop and load it each time with the elastic thread. Take my word for it...load 3-4 at a time, so you can easily switch them out. I think I'd like it much better if it were just black and white too. this might be a little too...."preppy" for me. Not "hippie" enough for me. But it was fun to try!

YAWN

2012-01-05T10:59:00.002-05:00

Could not sleep last night AT ALL.

I slept for about an hour...woke up at 12:30 and it was on and poppin then. Husband got up around 4:30 and I was still awake. what was I doing?

reading blogs. design blogs, sewing blogs, decorating blogs...blogs blogs blogs! So then my head was full of all kinds of ideas and things I want to try...so....no sleep. Major headache this morning. MAJ. (imagine Rachael Zoe saying that...MAAAJJJJJJJJJJJ.)

My ADD is kicking in BIG TIME tho, cuz I have no idea where to start! The boys go back to school this weekend, so next week, it will be the house. Painting FINALLY. I've only had the paint for the living room since September. Uh huh. CLEANING and PURGING. I love that word, PURGE. and RE-PURPOSING!!

So, today I think it will be sewing and redesigning some old t-shirts I have.

Now, where's my scissors?

2012-01-04T17:11:00.003-05:00

Goals:

treat people with respect, even if their views are different than mine.

value people more than things

say "i love you" every day to the people I love

smile at strangers

remember that not everyone has common sense and treat them accordingly

try not to be as shallow as a puddle (you see I said TRY)

get back to blogging, if not every day, than every other day

take more pictures!

try new food

remember that boys grow up and become men. They move away and start their lives. It doesn't mean they don't love me.

get back to crafts and making things and using my god-given abilities

step out on faith.

write more

wean myself off of tylenol pm! Hey, it's stupid, but its something that I want to do!

realize that stretch marks are from growing my babies. I should be proud that my body has that capability. and no one wants to see the stomach of a 48 yr old woman anyway!

......................

Im sure I can think of some more...just give me a little time

Hello 2012!!

2012-01-03T11:24:00.002-05:00

With Pinterest and all these really creative blogs out there, I'm feeling inspired.

My daughter, Rae, has been a creative genius lately! She moved into a new house and is working really hard to make it a "home", ya know?

To be honest, I haven't done that in YEARS. I've been "lost" and just haven't felt like doing anything. But I working on getting my mojo back.

I know I've said I love Pinterest, but I REALLY love it. and it pisses me off there are so many imaginative and creative people out there and I aint one of em! But that will come back to me. I just know it. If I had it once, I can have it again.

and I just have to say...2011 was a really good year for me. So 2012 has alot to live up to! ;)

Things with the husband are are really really good. I know people don't believe in spending time apart, but I think it really helped us. It made us see that we MISS each other. He has been so SO good to me lately. I'm really enjoying it! :) Sometimes the "old" husband rears his ugly head, but for the most part, he is a new man. Which makes me be a new woman. I like knowing that we're doing this together...that we really and sincerely want to make each other happy. Nice way to start the year out, huh?

and the show "Tabitha's Salon Takeover" is on right now, in the background...and this owner of this salon is crying...and crying...and crying. Good Lord Woman! SHUT UP!!!! I love me some Tabitha!! She tells it like it is and is not out to make friends. and she's badass!

I've been thinking about blogging...and how long I've done this. To all of you who've been with me for years, do you remember, "Baron"? He was a really cool guy, and he died suddenly. I've been missing him lately. And Uncle Buff too. I would have loved to taste his award winning chili.

Just some thoughts running through my head this morning. and Murff and I slept till 10:30. That felt so good! Usually he's up at 8, but not today! WOOHOO! I've been super sick since New Year's Eve so the sleep was much needed. We closed down the kiosk at the mall last night so I had to go in for 5 hours and pack up. that was a long 5 hours when you feel like puking! But I miss it already. :(

So we had a bad storm last night and got some snow. so I think Im gonna brave it and take my sick butt outside and take some photos of some snow. Cuz ya'll know how much I love me some snow.

another christmas over.

2011-12-29T10:39:00.006-05:00

Christmas is over!

Doing the Happy Dance!

Does that make me a scrooge? I'm really not...not this year. I just had probably, one of the Best Christmases I've ever had. It was full of all the people that I love the most....it was chaotic and crazy...working 45 hours a week at the mall on top of everything else. But it was great. But Im glad it's over. I wanna take down the tree today! I'm always like, "Day after Christmas? TAKE THAT TREE DOWN!"

And I finally got a Kindle! I say "finally" cuz I've been wanting one for a while now, but Im such a purist when it comes to my books. I love the smell of a book, especially an old book...I love turning the pages...shoving the book in my purse...love the whole experience. Well, I can shove the Kindle in my purse, I guess. ;) So Im looking in The Kindle Store, to buy some books to start my collection...and I accidentally bought a book. It';s called The List. and its dumb. But Im reading it. It's about prominent figures in history being cloned. YES. Jack The Ripper...Abraham Lincoln...Thomas Jefferson...Joan of Arc. HEY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! But I paid $2.99 for that thing so Im reading it!

I sit here trying to upload pics to this blog...why does it take so long? Sheesh. Maybe it;s my computer, eh?

No big plans for New Year's Eve. Not a big NYE person...never have been. And I have to close down the kiosk the next day and get everything packed up, so no hangover for me. Then on to The New Year. What are you hoping for/striving for this New Year?

My list:

lose the 12 pounds I've gained. HEIFER!!

open new photography business and get it rolling

TRAVEL!!!!!

Love the people I love even more this year. Never let a day go by without telling them what they mean to me.

and that's about it. Pretty simple. I think I can accomplish those few things.

Maybe. I HAVE been eating alot of sweet potato pie lately. :/

Goodbye

2011-12-08T16:38:00.003-05:00

Baby Girl is gone.

I've been without her for 30 hours now. The house is quiet and....... empty somehow. Oh, she didn't do much while she was here, especially at the end. The tumor in her lung was just too big and she couldn't get around very good. she also couldn't breathe. and she looked at me like she was .....tired. she was just tired.

So, we took her to the vet yesterday morning at 9:30. Now, she has never liked riding in the car...would whine the whole time. But this time, she was quiet. I sat in the back with her and pet her head and she just rested her head on my leg...she knew where she was going.

We get to the vet, and lift her out of the car. I didn't want to carry her in..I wanted her to have her dignity about her and be able to walk one last time. To smell the different smells around her...to lay on the cold stone in front of the door.

She walked into the exam room and lay down on the floor. The vet came in and tried to give her the shot in her hind leg, but her veins were bad...blood pressure was low. So she had to move to a front leg. Maddie looked me in my eyes....straight in my eyes. Her brown eyes to my blue ones and laid her head in my hands. and she closed her eyes. I put my mouth right to her ear and told her how much we loved her and what a good girl she had always been.And I felt the life go out of her. Just like that. her head felt heavy in my hands. And I kissed her head.

Baby Girl is gone.

29 candles...er...48

2011-12-05T15:29:00.003-05:00

Soooooooo..............

I had my birthday yesterday.

ya ya ya....I don't normally celebrate my birthdays. I HATE to, actually. It's something that I dread every year.

But I've done some thinking on this subject and this is the conclusion that I've come to.

I AM going to celebrate from now on!

There was a time in my life when I thought I wouldn't make it to age 20, so to make it to age 29...cough cough...is a pretty big accomplishment! No, to be 48 is a big deal.

I remember being a teenager and thinking, (God! 48 is OLD as dirt!) well, it really isn't! I still feel young...I try to keep up on my appearance so I don't look like an old hag...at least not all the time!! I can still get around, I still have my health, despite some scares the past few years. so, why shouldn't I celebrate??

When my mom died, that first birthday after her death was a rough one, to say the least. Each year, it gets just a little bit easier. My mom and I didn't have the best relationship, but it was ok at the end. I could hug her and tell her that I loved her and she could do the same to me.

So from now on, I will be celebrating my birthday...and I expect to get cards and lots and lots of gifts!!! ha!

So, the husband took me away for the weekend!! It was sorta for my birthday and sorta not, but I pretended it was all about me! We went to a fund raiser for a fellow trooper with stage 4 brain cancer. Now, y'all know how much I LOVE to go to trooper functions, right? well, this one wasn't too bad. We had a really good time together and with 2 other couples. And we might actually be taking ballroom dancing lessons because of this! Crazy, I know!

So then we stayed in a sweet hotel and the next day did some Christmas shopping at a big huge mall. It was fun having him all to myself and we laughed and had a great time together. Nice, huh? :)))

So, in a couple years, when I turn the big FIVE OH, I want to have a HUGE blowout Blogger party!!! Wouldn't it be a blast to all get together in a central location and party our butts off? Can I get an AMEN?????!

gobble.

2011-11-27T09:24:00.002-05:00

Another Thanksgiving, come and gone.

And Im glad cuz Im sick to death of turkey. I like turkey...ONCE A YEAR. But I get sick of it...it's a bit "rich" for me. But the sweet potato pies I NEVER get sick of. ;)

I cooked and cooked,,,and then cooked some more on Thursday. The 2 older boys were still at school, so it seemed strange not to have them here to help me. I guess I better get used to it, tho, huh?. Cuz times they are a changing.

The youngest boy will graduate in May. And my life will take an entirely different turn. But I'm ready. I'm really ready!! It wont sneak up on me and surprise me and leave me devastated!

I have so many balls in the air right now, but I love it. I also have some really fantatic ideas for a series of children's books, so Im shopping for a publisher. I see the whole idea fleshed out, and it looks pretty good fleshed out, if I do say so myself.

So I haven't had much free time lately. It's hard to keep track of blogs, twitter, facebook..blah blah blah....so much social media, so little time. But who of us ISN"T busy, right?

this is totally random, but that chick on the foodnetwork...Melissa something? She's blond and a mom...$10 dinners I think is one of her shows.? I don't like her. Just thought I'd throw that out in the universe so it can come back and bite me in the ass one day. It's not HER exactly, but the way she talks. God, I need to work on not being so judgmental. :) But I would like to hang out with Sandra Lee, cuz you know girlfriend knows how to have a good time!!!! Plus when you got the munchies afterward, she'd cook up something yummy. If she wasn't too wasted herself.

Ok, I need to get back to post production. I have an engagement shoot that I need to finish editing and mail off to the happy couple. I will be checking in on y'all in a bit!

Life is fleeting

2011-11-05T15:56:00.003-04:00

Well, I think it might be time.

Again, I have to put down another beloved animal.

Our dog, Maddie, is 11 years old. And she has a huge tumor in her chest that is getting larger and larger, making it hard for her to move and breathe.

and Im heartbroken.

Again

We had 3 dogs. Jake, a Shepard. Trooper and Maddie, our Labs. So Maddie is the last of an era. She's had a hard year without Trooper. Murff has helped her a little bit, but she misses Her Boy alot.

So I like knowing that they will all be together again. But its gonna be so hard not to see her pretty face every day, and her loving on my boys. she is a total BOY dog. she does NOT like girls...never has, never will. But the minute one of the boys walks into the room, she's in a puddle at their feet. and she insists on them calling her Baby Girl, which they gladly do. She's our DIVA. and once you live with a DIVA, its hard to imagine life without her.

Sooooooooooooooo..............I need to talk to our vet.

That's a phone call I find very hard to make.

Music to My Ears

2011-10-26T13:21:00.003-04:00

What songs touch you most?

Is there a special song, that when you hear it, takes you right back to the first time you heard it? or takes you back to a special time in your life, that you always want to remember?

Here are some of mine:

"Yearning for Your Love" by The Gap Band
me and Baby Daddy's song

"Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus
I know!!! Crazy, huh? But it reminds me of California

"I can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitte
just because it is so heart wrenching and we've all been there, right?, at one time or another

"Can You Stop the Rain" by Jeffery Osbourne
see above

"Shake Your Pants" by Cameo
this just reminds me of high school and Bina and going out dancing every weekend!

"Rapper's Delight" by The Sugarhill Gang
see above

There are so so many more, my mind is just mush right now. My ADD is kicking in!! ;)

Sometimes it's a good thing to hear a song and be transported back in time.

and sometimes its not.

2011-10-19T10:40:00.001-04:00

i know my birthday isnt until December, but i'm already thinking about it. :)

so, what should i ask for this year? i'm determined to celebrate it this year...i normally dont. dont want anything to do with it. But this year will be different. I WANT GIFTS!!

so what should i ask for?

2011-10-18T18:53:00.001-04:00

art gallery showing by beth-bucci-hill featuring true religion jeans

Derek Lam long sleeve crew neck shirt
$490 - barneys.com

True religion jeans
$598 - mytheresa.com

Charlotte Olympia high heel pumps
$905 - bergdorfgoodman.com

River Island tiger jewelry
$17 - asos.com

Wendy Mink gold jewelry
$182 - charmandchain.com

Neff red beanie
$18 - zumiez.com

H M acrylic scarve
£7.99 - hm.com

Ray-Ban ray ban shades
$195 - my-wardrobe.com

I can't quit you!!!

2011-10-14T13:14:00.002-04:00

OMG...

I am totally addicted to Pinterest.

Someone help me!!! images, images, images!!!!! It has become my new Facebook! :)

Then, Im talking to Rae this morning, and of course, we're talking about clothes, (after we talk about food), and how we wish we dressed "cool" and "hip" instead of BLECH all the time. I tell her about the outfits I see on Pinterest and how much I like them and how I see a definate pattern in what I like....then she tells me this:

"I found the site where you can put all those outfits together...IT'S CALLED POLYVORE"

OH HELLS NO!!!!!

honey....it is a fashion whore's dream come true!!

You pick each and every piece of your outfit, from pants, dresses, SHOES!!!! scarves, bags, jewelry...SUNGLASSES!!!

Life, family, JOB, you have all been put on hold for the next few hours...(5-6?). Polyvore and I have a date.

Watch out Chef Dog!! DB is hot on your heels!!

2011-10-05T16:00:00.002-04:00

So Im trying Dirtbike Boy's recipe for supper tonight:

boneless, skinless chicken breasts..pounded thin. then stuffed with chive cream cheese, and wrapped up in bacon. Bake in the oven. :)))

with garlic roasted potatoes and fresh Brussels sprouts from the garden. Desert?

hmmm.....I don't have anything for desert! Im so not a desert person. Banana nut muffins maybe?

2011-10-04T09:52:00.002-04:00

Today is my mom's birthday.

Do y'all celebrate the birthday of dead people?

I mean, like, have a PARTY. with cake. and candles. and stuff.

I don't.

I remember that person on their birthday, but I don't have an all out party.

But I know someone who does!!!

What do I leave?

2011-10-02T15:28:00.002-04:00

What kind of legacy am I leaving?

When Im finally gone from this earth one day, what will be the one thing people remember about me?

What will my children think about me? what will they take from me and carry on to their own children?

am I leaving them a legacy that will carry on for years or one that will fade in the wind, like dust or dried leaves?

I want my children to know beyond a reasonable doubt, that their mother loved them beyond reason, beyond belief, beyond the moon and the stars. that they were her WHOLE life and everything else was just "noise".

Will they teach them how to make meatballs from scratch, with only fresh bread crumbs and fresh garlic? Will they make elaborate costumes for Halloween? Will they sit at each and every sporting even that their children participate in, even if they come in last?

Will they become obsessive about what their child was wearing the last time they saw them, just in case the unthinkable happens? will they tell their child "I love you!" each and every day, even if it's by phone?

Will they snuggle on the couch and watch Disney movies all day?

Will they let their children have a "mental heath day:" every year from school....just because EVERYONE needs a free pass every now and then?

Will they get married and stick with the marriage, even if it gets rough and they want out? will they then fall in love with their spouse all over again and finally realize WHY they married that person in the first place?

Will they tell their children crazy stories of MiMi and all the insane stuff she did and said?

Will they get together every holiday and have big huge meals together and reminisce about growing up?

Will they love one another and always remember that "the people in this house are the most important people in your lives"?

Will they remember me?

2011-10-01T13:18:00.003-04:00

So Dirtbike Boy plays football this year, his senior year.

and he's doing really well...or good...or he's doing a great job, whichever is the correct grammar.

But today? it's 45 degrees and raining.

so it was a Mud Bowl.

But he said he had fun. He plays varsity on Friday night and then JV on Saturday morning. We came home, all wet and cold, made 3 pizzas, and now its college football all day on the couch, under the blankets!

I DID have an engagement shot today, but I have cancelled it, cuz of weather. So, I will be going to Raleigh in October to do it there, since that's where the bride and groom-to-be live. it's a hard job, but someones gotta do it, right? then the following weekend, I want to head to NYC to see My Tranny and see Dog and spend a birthday with Snuggs, so that should be WILD. Bring on the Gay Bars!!! WOOHOOOO!!!

I also have a series of children's books that Im working on and posters of a local girl that rides dirtbikes in all kinds of different races. And her sponsors are paying for that...soo BIG SMILE!!!!

Life is really good right now.

SMILE. :)

2011-09-30T16:18:00.002-04:00

I've decided that I am really going to get back to my blog.

REALLY.

It was this blog that got me through so much in my life, and introduced me to so many fabulous people. I've been treating it like the step-child you can't stand to be around, but NO MORE!!

Im kinda tired of the Facecrack. Never really got into the Twitter. Google +? fuhgetaboutit.

sooooo...while my voice has changed, Im sticking with THIS blog. This is where my heart is, where my friends and family are. Why go elsewhere? everyone's voice changes, if they are growing, right? we just need to go with the flow, instead of ducking out and starting elsewhere.

So, Im going to try and blog every day like I used to. I used to say, "Oh, I am SO blogging about this!" then it became, "Oh I am SO facebooking this!"

But I love my blog...it shows who I used to be, and who I am now, and who I hope to be in the future.

so there ya go.

:)

2011-09-29T18:08:00.002-04:00

Murff is good...fleas.

He has fleas.

But it just can't be that simple...ohhh nooooooooooooo.

He's highly allergic to them..and to dust mites...and just about everything else.

Good Lord!!!!

HE JUST A DOG!!! (did I really just say that outloud? I hope he didn't hear me!)

So, he got a steroid shot, Frontline, Interceptor, and he's on a steroid for the next month.

the cost, you ask?

$107.00

for a dog that weighs 4.7 lbs. Thats 22.77 per pound.

But he's totally worth it.

but DAYUMMMMMM.

smellin like helen up in here

2011-09-29T09:43:00.002-04:00

cupcakes.

Im makin them. for the football team. a football team full of teen aged boys. who play football.

at 8:30 in the freaking morning. WTH?

I've been up since 3:30am. Couldn't sleep...got up to check on Murff cuz he's not feeling well. Im taking him to the vet this morning. He was in a corner in the bathroom, shaking, all night long. When he's sick or in pain, he goes off by himself....he won't sit with me, he won't let me hold him or comfort him. He goes off to a corner somewhere and I have to hunt to find him. So off to the vet he goes this morning.

I have to have the cupcakes at the school by 3:30. Thursday is "feed the team"...and local restaurants donate a meal to the team, and they all eat together after practice. and the parents donate the desert. So I was gonna make something ....decadent. But nooooooooooooo...these are teen aged boys. chocolate and vanilla cupcakes it is. BORING.

and what it is with me and sleep. anyway? we used to be such good friends...not anymore. haven't been for a couple of years now. it's like my mind just wont shut off, even with sleeping pills. Im constantly thinking things...singing songs....talking things through in my head. It just never shuts off. I just want some quiet...for a couple of hours...to really sleep. REALLY sleep. a deep, restorative sleep. Oh how I want that.

another one

2011-09-28T14:10:00.002-04:00

Well, I survived another anniversary of my mom's death.

it's still hard.

but it's not as hard as it used to be.

I can look back now, and smile and laugh at the crazy things she used to do.

If you've been here for any amount of time, you know that the relationship with my mother was tumultuous, at best. We had our ups and downs...mostly downs over the years.

There were many years where we had no contact at all.

Now I see that as such wasted time. My brother and I still don't speak. I don't even know where he is, how he is...if he's even alive. I assume he IS, since I haven't heard other wise! Oh wait...I DID get a call from his "wife"..and I put it like that cuz I don't know if they're really even married anymore or what. But he wanted something form me, of course, cuz why else would she be contacting me. It was a piece of paper that he needed from me, which I can't find...or was thrown out YEARS ago. so now he has just one more reason to hate me.

Which is really his loss, cuz im freaking FABULOUS!!!! lol!

But my mom did teach me to be a really good grandma. She always said, "Im a horrible mother but Im a really good Nana". So true. :)

***********************

Im watching some show on TLC about having multiple babies....HOW DO THESE PEOPLE DO IT??!!!!! OMG, I would lose my bloomin mind. seriously.

just thought I'd throw that in there. :)

2011-09-05T10:39:00.002-04:00

Some pictures of The Murff Man...Mr. Murphy...Charlie Murphy....the Murfinator

ch ch ch changes

2011-09-02T14:54:00.002-04:00

ya know when you have kids, and they're little and you think to yourself...

"when the kids get bigger, things will be so much easier"

Well, I have one kid left at home. ONE. And things are still crazy.

The photo biz has gotten crazy and I can no longer handle the weddings alone. so.......my cousin and I are going into business together. We're going to concentrate on engagements/weddings and branch out and do the baby thing too. We eventually want to do the whole event planning thing, and have everything in one location..the event planning, photography, decorating, catering...all in one. We have a decorator...we'll handle the photography...and the event planning. But I will focus mainly on the photography. So we will be looking for a chef soon. Taking on too much?? I don't think so. It's extremely exciting right now. I wake up every day wondering what that day will bring. I love it!

and I will be doing a new blog. I have a few ideas on that front too. I miss blogging and want to get back to it. I was talking to Zombie Mom yesterday, and we realized that our blogging friends are our family, and some of the people we are closest to in this world. I like that.

Sooo......lots of changes coming up. I hope I can keep up!!!

2011-08-17T14:53:00.002-04:00

Had a great trip to Virginia.

Ezra is getting big...and is very very charming!

2011-08-05T09:21:00.004-04:00

Updates on the Grandbaby:

He is fantastic!

and smart!

and beautiful!

Ok, enuf said. ;)

No, Ezra is doing great. Growing by leaps and bounds. Every day he does something new. and he's such a BOY...he's rough and tumble and can punch himself in the stomach really hard without crying. :) He loves to take a bath, has his own opinion about EVERYTHING, expecially SLEEP, and lets his opinion be known. He's not afraid to "show his emotions" like alot of men are.

I'm taking the other 2 grandbabies and we are headed on a road trip tomorrow to go see Ezra, so I will have some pics then. But here are a few from vacation this year...he was only 3 months old...now he will be SIX in a few weeks. Where has the time gone?

sooooooooooo, what do you think about Ice and CoCo?

2011-08-04T09:38:00.002-04:00

I'm having lunch with my dad tomorrow.

(crickets)

what the hell are we gonna talk about for an HOUR???? what if lunch is longer than an HOUR????

hes not the best conversationalist.... ohhhh gawddddddd.

wonder if he watches, "Basketball Wives" or "Project Runway"?

Hey Y'all!!!

2011-08-03T11:10:00.003-04:00

Hey Strangers!!

I was talking to Maddie the other day, and I realized how I much I missed my blog!!! It was so good to touch base and we both decided that a Dust Bunny Reunion is order and long over-due. So we need to get to work on THAT.

Time is a very rare thing for me these days. My photography business has taken off by leaps and bounds and is keeping me very busy. I booked another wedding yesterday then went to a football practice to see a friend, and take a few photos of her little guy playing. and another job dropped into my lap! They hired me to do all the photos for their yearbook! WTH? So, I have been so blessed these past few weeks. Weddings out the freaking WAHHHZOOOOOOO!!! Who woulda thunk it? Here, I'm thinking sports photography...and definitely babies. I'd really like to concentrate on just children, but to be honest...weddings are paying the bills. :)

Health thingie....well......it's good. The cervical cancer thing is in check....gotta get check ups every 3 months to check cells. Right now...I'm in the clear. WOOHOO!

Family is good. All 3 boys are home for the summer...with 2 of them leaving soon, to go back to school. Can you say, "THANKYOUBABYJESUS!" The oldest boy is a SLOB! and I'm so ready for him to get his shit and get into his own house, so he can trash his OWN house! There is stuff everywhere! The other boy is living in a dorm again, so he's good to go. And the youngest boy is a SENIOR in high school. Let me repeat that:

A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!

and what does he want to do with his life? well, lets see.....first he wanted to live in a shack on the beach and run a fishing boat...then he wanted to living in the wilderness in Alaska somewhere, living off the land. ya, right. not gonna happen. Then he said something about joining the coast guard. UMMMMMMMMMMM.......WHY? ok, whatever.... and he's playing football again..for the first time since 7th grade. and yes, I was extremely worried about the post concussion syndrome thing..but to be honest..I really don't see him getting a whole heck of a lot of playing time. so he should be ok. But don't tell him I said that. ;)

and .......I'm training to run a 5k in November. I know! Me? RUN? I figured, what the hell...why not? I've never done it, may as well try it, right? If I can't run the whole thing, so be it. At least I can say I've done it.

And I am SOOOOOO over due for a trip...on a plane. I NEED to fly somewhere. So all suggestions will be taken seriously and thoroughly thought over. :)

Now, I have to go train for this stupid running thing and then I will spend some time catching up with all y'all.

2011-06-15T14:00:00.003-04:00

I think it's time to move on.

I used to blog every. single. day.

I have made so many wonderful friends through this crazy thing....friends I know I will have for a lifetime. Friends I've looked my whole life for, and refuse to go on without them ever again.

But I'm different.

Im not the same person I was 4-5 years ago....but then again, who is,right?

I just feel that my life is going in a different direction. I no longer have young kids at home...my home life is so different. Im almost an "empty nester". EGADS!!!

I come back to my blog every once in a while, and think, "wow, I haven't written anything since May 27????"

when did this happen? WHY did this happen?

that evil devil Facebook. I don't love Facebook more, it's just so much easier to just write a few things instead of a whole blog post. But Im seriously thinking of a facebook sabbatical too.

as I sit here, in the same t-shirt I've worn for the past 3 days and hairy legs cuz I just don't feel like shaving them, I think I need to either give up blogging altogether, or start another blog that reflects my life now.

Is that bad? I feel like I have to censor myself so many times, and that is stifling. I want to really REALLY say what's on my mind, but I don't feel like I can anymore.

Im not going to delete it entirely, cuz this blog is still and will always be, My Baby. My life started to change for the better when I started blogging, but I've given it alot of thought and I think Im going to start a new blog, where my voice NOW can be heard.

But I'll still be back to check in on ya'll. Cuz I love every one of you.

2011-05-27T10:16:00.002-04:00

all testing is done.

I will live to see another day.

WOOOHOOOO!!!!

Ulcers and hernias. WTH????!!!!!

***********************

food blog.

Now don't get all excited cuz I am NOT a chef...no where near it. But I DO love to cook, and I LOVE to eat, so those two go together really well.

http://mangia-beth.blogspot.com/

***********************

2011-05-17T12:20:00.002-04:00

May.

so many birthdays in May.

Two of my boys had birthdays and I think we have like....2,487 more to go this month.

*******************

Health issues.

I'm having some.

lots of tests going on. So far, no cancer, but I DO have multiple ulcers.

And the doctor said "no more chocolate"

WHATTHEHELL?????

I can't cut out chocolate!!! it's the only thing that gets me through most days.

The chocolate will be going no where, thankyouverymuch. It's just ulcers, for goodness sake!

Colonoscopy next week. The only good part? the colon cleanse. Maybe I will drop a few pounds from that. at least till I eat food again, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

And the anesthesia? ohhhh nooooooo. I am SO not a drug girl. There's a reason I never became a drug user, aside from a few joints and some ludes...and speed. But everyone does speed, right? :)

I was FLYING OVER THE RAINBOW. Literally. that part was fun...the coming down part, not so much.

**************************

I've started a food blog. Why? I hardly post on this one any more!!!

**************************

vacation in a few very short weeks. I need it. I want it. I shall have it.

the end

2011-05-05T16:23:00.002-04:00

Happy 22nd Birthday to my oldest boy, Stephen, aka BUD. I love you Bud. I'm so proud of the man you've become...and the man you will be one day. You make me smile when I see your face, and my heart wants to bust when you hug me...and you give some damn good hugs!

I hope you find your passion in life, and that you live life to the fullest. Never look back and think, "what if"...always look forward...and charge into the world and go your own way, just like Fleetwood Mac says. :)

13% baby!!!!! 13%!!!!!

LOVE, Mama

2011-05-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

buried at sea....really? FOR REALS? okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy............

an observation

2011-04-17T09:03:00.002-04:00

ok...

this post is gonna be wayyyyy TMI.

so you can duck out the back now, before I get started, if you need to.

Ok.

since I started this vegan thing? well, my insides are changing, if ya know what I mean.

to put it bluntly, my poop doesn't stink.

There, I said it.

Not that I was ever a "stinky" person, but everyone has an odor, ya know? It didn't stink up the whole house, like some other people do around here, but ya, it had a smell.

Well, now it doesn't smell at all. Weird, huh? Not even with all those stupid beans I'm eating!

Now, before, when I would eat roast beef, well...WATCH OUT! cuz it wasn't pretty. Not hamburger, or steak or anything else made out of cow...just roast beef..made in the oven with carrots and potatoes...with nice rich gravy...

wait? where was I?

Oh ya, that awful meat that made me smell.

So, there you know what I'm like in the bathroom. Are you happy now? :)

Just an observation.

beans beans the musical fruit...

2011-04-15T10:09:00.002-04:00

well, the vegan thing is going good.

I even cooked bacon for the kid the other morning, and didn't sneak one single piece.

can we say SELF CONTROL??!

I've never been known for self control, but I did it!

But damn I'm tired of beans! and I love beans! but sheesh.....enough already. and grain...yowza. ENOUGH ALREADY!

I WANT A STEAK!!!!

Soo......I think I'm gonna look around at some local farms and see how they do their meat...is it grass fed? do they slaughter humanly? tho, is ANY slaughter really humane? and friend has some chickens so I'm gonna get my eggs from her. Not that I want to get back into the whole "meat" thing, but I think once or twice a week will be OK. and god I miss cheese!!!! FETA! GORGONZOLA! SHARP SHARP CHEDDAR!!! OH YES PLEASE!

But I proved to myself that I can do it....I won't go back to the burgers. ground meat is not a pretty thing...unless I know exactly who's making it or I can swing it and buy the expensive stuff that is REAL meat...not all the gross left over crap they grind up.

And as for beans? well, I just ate butter beans w/rosemary for breakfast.

so , don't get too close to me today. or any other day for that matter. ;)

damn you oprah!

2011-04-06T19:54:00.002-04:00

So I broke down and watched Oprah today.

I know, I know.

But it opened my eyes to some things. god I hate that!

I've decided to TRY and go vegan.

that's right...good bye 5 Guys....Arby's.....ARBY"S!!!! OH LORD!!!!

But they showed a slaughter house. and that did me in. I LOVE animals..and those poor cattle...I hope I don't ever forget it. and besides..one guy lost 11 lbs in one week! ELEVEN POUNDS IN A WEEK!!!!! WOOHOO!

So, I do want to be healthier....I lost alot of weight last year, and have since gained some of it back...not much...5 pounds..but I can SEE those 5 pounds. and I want to be healthy. I have 3 grandbabies to live for!

and I LOVE beans and rice and grains and veggies...not crazy about soy milk or soy cheese, but I suppose I can get used to it, right? :) I already do vegan about 3 days a week without even knowing it or even trying..so what's 4 more days?

Im gonna take this 1 day at a time...

2011-04-05T15:46:00.002-04:00

I LOVELOVELOVE the commercials where the parents tell the kids that "We're going to Disney World RIGHT NOW!"

Love those!!!!

three years really isn't that long at all

2011-04-03T10:18:00.002-04:00

My cousin recently lost her father.

And it's now, a few months later that the grief seems to intensify.

At least it did for me, when I lost my mom.

Now, everyone knows that my mom and I didn't have the best relationship in the world. I was telling a friend the other day...we were in the Hallmark store buying a birthday card for her sister, and she was struggling. She and her sister aren't very close and don't really have that "sisterly vibe" going on. And I told her it was the same way with my mom....especially on Mothers Day. They don't really make cards that say ,"thanks for abandoning me in kindergarten and laying on the floor passed out drunk so that I have to step over your body to make it out the back door."

It was hard buying cards for my mom. But later on in the years, it got easier.

When she died, the feeling of abandonment came rushing over me all over again...I know she didn't leave me on purpose..by that time, we were getting along pretty well. we had come to an understanding...and she had finally said "I love you"...we even hugged on occasion! But when she died.....wow. Until you lose a parent, you don't really know that feeling. You can feel sorry for someone, and offer condolences, but to FEEL it yourself is something entirely different. And then when it came to my birthday...I lost it completely. How do you celebrate your birthday when the woman who gave birth to you is GONE. to never hear her voice again....to never hug her frail body again.....the utter sadness washed over me like never before.

So.......when someone dies, people are all over the place..saying how sorry they are...offering to help you in any way...blahblah blah. But really, it's the months later that you Really need someone. When everyone has gone back to their lives and you see that life DOES go on....that's hard. Your still deep in the sadness and darkness, while everyone else has forgotten.

And now, almost 3 years later...it still hurts. Oh, I can talk about my mom, and share memories...and laugh at her crazy antics. But in the dark of night, when I wake up from a bad dream, or I'm feeling especially lonely...I still want my Mom.

Even the tortured, abusive one.

Million dollar Listing

2011-03-29T11:42:00.004-04:00

ya'll know how much I love my reality tv, right?

In fact, I really don't watch any tv other than reality tv! But I was watching Bravo..."Million Dollar Listing"...with the 3 Hollywood Realtors that are in constant competition with each other. Madison, Josh and another Josh guy who is a TOTAL douche bag.

The other guy...can't remember his name..he had dark hair...BOWL CUT and looked like he was about 12...but he was in his 30's. He's gone, thank you baby jesus.

So there is a house for sale for $12.9 million.
Let's just sit on that number for a moment, shall we?

TWELVE POINT NINE MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Are you freaking KIDDING me? sooooo, they get an offer fro $12.5 and the owner DOESN'T WANT IT. now I KNOW we have to sit on THAT for a moment.

Can you honestly tell me that $400,000 is really gonna be a deal breaker when we're talking about $12 MILLION? I know Im a little "cuntry bumpkin" :) but COME ON!!! I think that is redickulus!!!!! hehehehe...

Just blows me away.

Home aint so bad after all

2011-03-24T11:57:00.004-04:00

Home.

It feels good.

But damn I miss Rae and Ezra!!! Why does it have to be SO hard?

Things were....ok when I got home. You could tell I hadn't been home in a LONG time...I guess there really is such a thing as "a woman's touch" cuz my house hadn't had that in a while. a bunch of bachelors living up in here! Blankets everywhere....dog hair by the bunches....and how many can of chicken noodle soup can people eat, anyway????!

So I am slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things around here. And Im liking the idea of throwing out old stuff....cleaning out the closets, and getting ready for spring.

So Idol....what do ya all think? I am loving me some Casey and Paul. I think the boys got it goin on again this year. I didn't watch at all last year, but one night they had last years winner on. I liked his voice...Lee something or other. Terrible, huh? :)

So I have 3 really big weddings coming up and Im excited. I didn't really want to get into Wedding Photography, but hey, it pays the bills, right? and I find Im enjoying it......I feel lucky to be included in this special time of these couples. I do the engagements shots too, so I really get to know them. Still working on my line of greeting cards. Some people want to me to just hand over my photos, collect my check and move on. Well, I am too much of a control freak to do that! I want to be involved in the whole process and I want to have a say in what they do with the photo....guess I think Im much better than what I really am. Im just not interested in the money, tho that is nice. My photos are like my babies. And I don't want them abused or messed with too much. Picky? yes. so what. :)

I feel like im in transition. for what, I don't know...but I feel good things are coming my way.

Days can be so long when you're stuck in the car for 10 hours and winding the roads of the PA turnpike

2011-03-21T14:58:00.003-04:00

Home.

10 hours in the car.

Numb ass.

Upset stomach from sausage egg mcmuffin, 1/2 BMT sub at subway and 2 packs of starburst.

Sugar overload.

Soak in hot tub.

back in car.

take kid back to Akron.

Home.

Bed.

Sleep. :)

on the road again...how do you do it Tug??!!!!

2011-03-16T09:20:00.002-04:00

Well, my time in NC is winding down.

Yes, Im sad to be leaving, but I'll be happy to get back to m y own bed. air mattresses are highly over rated, if you ask me! It will b e nice to get back to my daily routine, in my own house.

But I will miss having all of this time with Ezra and Rae. Eating breakfast with them every morning...watching him get his bath every night, which the kid just LOVES! You put his little body in the water, and you can literally see hi melt right down into it. He was born in water, I guess he'll live his life in water!

It's been so n ice having Rae all to myself, and talking to her and sharing so much with her, all of this has brought us so much closer, and for that, I am grateful.

But it's time to get home, and get ready for a wedding coming up that I have to shoot. and hitting the pavement and hustling some more to get my stuff out there and to round up more work. The new business cards are AWESOME, thanks Moo! and I have lots of ideas brewing in my head.

It will be good to see my boys once again and see how much taller they've all gotten, especially the youngest one. I bet he's grown like a weed since i've been gone.

So on sunday I will hit the highway, back to good old dreary Ohio, where the sun never shines and the skies are always gray and cloudy. What a world, what a world.

2011-02-24T16:48:00.002-05:00

I have forgotten what its like to have a newborn in the house.

How soon we forget, huh?

why is it they only want to cry at 3am? sleep peacefully all day long, but night falls and all hell breaks loose?

Ezra is a good baby....just gives his mama fits in the middle of the night. Poor Mama. Poor tired Mama.

********************************

I went shopping to day and spent wayyyyyyyy too much money on baby clothes...but he can't be naked ALL the time, can he? We have started calling him The Emperor, cuz he has no clothes! All of his stuff was way too big for the little guy, so OF COURSE, MiMi had to go shopping and get him a little somethin somethin....it's my duty as a MiMi. And I take it very seriously.

*******************************

I didnt actually think I would get homesick, but I kinda am. But the weather here is FABULOUS and there is no way in cold cold hell I want to be in Ohio right now, with another winter storm on the way. But I'm kinda missing Super Trooper. Hard to imagine, right? ;) I'm sure as soon as I see him, that will go away. HA! Im so mean.

******************************

so about American Idol, why oh WHY did they get rid of Chris Medina? I liked him. Would he win it? nooooooo, but you can't tell me that the dude that kicked Jaycee out of the group is better than he is. Nope...refuse to believe that. and JLo...I love you girl, but COME ON. YOU guys are the one who turned him down! why the tears????! If you liked him that much than you should have fought harder for him....blah blah blah,. and what rock do you live under to have NEVER heard a Beatles song? good Lord! and I am sooo thankful that Meth Head girl who got married in Vegas did NOT make it any further. I was tired of looking at her meth mouth. EEWWWWWW.

2011-02-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

Ezra, 1 week old

2011-02-17T13:25:00.002-05:00

Things are good in Baby Land.

Little Man is growing already and looks different every day..getting rolls and multiple chins. :)

Murff and I walk every day in the cutest little neighborhood. It's full of cute little bungalows and they all have brightly painted front doors...bright lime green, bright blue or red....nice NICE houses too. Well cared for lawns..well manicured...little picket fences, screened in porches with wicker furniture...pergolas in the backyard.....just really nice. and the people are so friendly...not the DRIVERS, but the people out and about in their yards. It's warms and sunny here, with crocuses and daffodils starting to bloom already.

The drivers are nuts...and RUDE!!!! they LOVE to beep their horn at you if you don't gun it at a green light. I don't like driving down here at all.

So Ezra has been up at night the past 2 nights...making his mama and daddy and mimi very tired during the day. He rules the roost right now!

But we are all crazy in love with him!

2011-02-14T16:49:00.001-05:00

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

Ezra Michael, the next US President. :)

2011-02-14T16:21:00.002-05:00

My new grandson is here!!

we left Ohio Friday night about 11pm...hoping to get to NC around 10-11am. I had talked to Rae earlier in the day and she said she "didn't feel good".....ok.

So around 6am we get a call from her, while we're on the road.

"Mom...I think my water broke, and I feel crampy"

"Ok..call your midwife and let her know..we're about 4 hours away."

so a little while later she calls back,

"I'm having contractions about every 4 minutes and I leak water with every one."

WE'RE HAVING US A BABY TODAY!!!!

So we pull into their drive around 11am. Rae is on her exercise ball, breathing through the contractions, but not really sweating it at all....very calm and relaxed...still not really sure if this was the REAL thing or not. Her midwife shows up, and they're talking and the midwife is telling her that it takes a loonnnnggg time to get to 5 cm, and to just relax....

Well, she checked her and she was 6-7 cm already!!!

Things really got moving after that!

The midwife and her people got busy scurrying around, setting up the pool in the living room. Oh..did I tell you they planned a home birth? No? they're having the baby at home in a pool of hot water!

So they get things set up and contractions are really coming now....she's in the pool, she's outta the pool....breathing and SO CALM during the whole thing. She really impressed me.

She got back in the water with Mike and she pushed for about an hour and out came Ezra Michael!! Born at 4:36pm.

Oh, and I GOT TO HELP DELIVER HIM!!! How cool is THAT? Rae and I both got to pull him out. It was just the most amazing thing ever. I would recommend a home birth to anyone. Rae got out of the pool, got into bed, nursed Ezra...just like she had been doing it her whole life. What an amazing , strong woman she is.

So, the week that we planned to spend just the two of us...shopping...talking...is now consumed with Little Man.

He weighed 6lbs 9ozs and was 19 ins. long. and looks JUST like his Daddy!!! he's a handsome little guy. I'll try to post pics so ya'll can see him, if you haven't seen him on Facebook already! ;)

Oh, and the best part? Marvin got to watch the whole thing and he even videotaped the birth! He wasn't too crazy about having the baby at home, but it all went smoothly, and he was relieved. And he left last night to go back to Ohio, even tho he didn't want to leave. I've been instructed to send a pic of EZ every day while Im here. :)

Ezra Michael

2011-02-14T14:07:00.000-05:00

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

Peek a Boo, I see you!

2011-02-09T16:04:00.003-05:00

About every month or so, we have a very informal "alumni night" at a local wing joint. Anyone can come, have a drink and get caught up with old friends. It's usually a lot of fun and last weekend was one of those nights.

This is me, Hippie and my friend Vicki. Hippie is the boyfriend of our friend Prissy, and yes, he's a Hippie...and a Biker...and totally cool. He makes homemade wine and brandy that is the BOMB!!! gooooood stuff. Homemade Dego Red to DIE for...He gave me a big 'ole jug of it,,and yes....it's almost gone. Good stuff. And he can cook....and he has a Harley. In fact, he gave me my first ride on a Harley...one night, late....he took me for a ride...95mph down winding roads....MOST FUN IVE HAD!!!!

Ok, this is Vick, Prissy and me. Now, it was probably about a year ago that we 3 girls became close friends...we met up at an alumni night and found out that we had ALOT in common...and started walking together everyday and going to lunch and soon enough, we were inseparable. Prissy is an angel and Vick, well....in high school, I thought she was a Miss Priss. But man was THAT far from the truth!!! She graduated with me and Bina, but we were never really "friends" in high school...she was a "popular" girl and I soooo wasn't. But now we're good friends. And she wants to plan a trip to San Diego with me, Bean and Vick....taking over the city! HAHA!

Now you've heard me talk about my friend Scotty. This is him. and yes, we really are "just friends"...tho there are some people who refuse to believe that. We are Best Friends and he's like a brother to me. My own brother doesn't speak to me, so I've replaced him with Scotty! He's newly divorced and had a heart attack a year ago. In fact the 4 of us became really good friend all around the same time. he's the 4th "girl" when we do a "girl's lunch". I thought he and Prissy might get together there for a while, but she met her Hippie and that was the end of that! But he's getting back out there and dating...and we all help him with that. he's very very funny and a great friend, and a great "brother" to me. I talk to him every day and can tell him anything, without fear of being made fun of. And I can cuss him out and he never gets mad at me..so I like that! ;) It's nice to have a guy as just a friend...you get into the minds of men and find out what they REALLY think, which is always helpful. And it's nice to know he has my back.

So that's what I've been up to...a little peek into my life from last weekend!

When life gives you butter beans, add rosemary and some salt and chow down!

2011-02-07T13:28:00.003-05:00

I am SO over football...at least for a while.

it WAS a good game yesterday tho...'cept I fell asleep and missed the 4th quarter. I know! that's the most important one....sheesh! But I heard the Packers won, right? ;)

So Im leaving this weekend and won't be back till April. Im really looking forward to getting the hell outta Dodge and away from this crappy weather. I just don't want to "over stay my welcome" ya know? and there are lots of photos to be taken while Im down there...and maybe visiting some Blogger friends..hopefully. Im considering doing a line of calendars and greeting cards, so the new photos would be for that. We'll see.

So today Im feeling....blah and blechy and yucky.

it's the freaking weather, Im telling ya. I need some sun on my skin. does anyone have a "light box"? have you ever used one? does it really help? cuz Im seriously thinking about getting one.

and a friend of mine wants to plan a get away to San Diego...and Im hoping Bina can get in on this too. 3 girls, in the sun...out on the town...alone. and then rent a car and head North to LA for Mary and Q and Zombie Mom. Can't hit CA and NOT see them...those are my homegirls who got me through alot.

Which reminds me....blogging is awesome, isn't it? So so many wonderful people in my life through this thing. I know I say it all the time, but it's so true and I've been reminded of it so much lately.

I'm feeling lonesome today. so that gets me thinking about my friends and how I need them to "re-charge" me. and I'm in great need of "re-charging" these days. Im telling you...I HAVE to move out of Ohio. It's not good for me. Next year, the youngest will graduate and has big plans to visit Crazy Aunt Nancy in CA, so me and The Warden are making plans to move to southern Ohio. he will work at the academy for the remaining 6 years and then we are outta here! and we are really looking forward to it.

When we talk about it, it's like, "7 years to go?" that seems sooooo long! But it's not really. Austin's junior year is almost over already...he will be an official Senior in a few short months....so our moving days aren't too far behind. St. Petersburg, here we come!!!

So that's me today. yuck. Blah. Blech. yup...that's me.

So Long Cold and Ice and Snow (please God let it be warm in NC!)

2011-02-02T16:09:00.002-05:00

I've been in my pajamas all day.

and now i have "bedhead" headache....

and a pork roast in the oven, with rosemary potatoes and honey/ginger carrots.

Hubs was in Columbus last night, Dirtbike Boy was at a friend's house, so I was all. ALONE!!!!!

can we say HEAVENLY all together now?????

I spent about 2 hours in the bathtub, reading magazines, and listening to Janet Jackson , "That's the Way Love Goes" on repeat!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

and Im packing my crap up and getting ready to head south in the next week or so. Making lists...gotta make sure I have everything Murff and I will need till April. so, yes Ohio..

I'M LEAVING YOUR ASS!!!!

2011-01-30T15:52:00.003-05:00

Went to a friend's farm last night for a bonfire. I love farms...I love the texture of the weathered old wood on the barns..I love ancient wooden doors that creak when you open them. And I relish the smell of woodsmoke when I get into bed at night.

************************************************************************

My Baby is having a Baby of her own soon. Isn't she just BEAUTIFUL??!!!

I can tell you, I did NOT look like THAT when I was pregnant! She is still so skinny...all except for that belly!

I'll be packing up my crap and my Murff and going south pretty soon. I will be My Girl's Doula, and be there when she gives birth. I am SO excited! All this time, I've thought it was a Boy...but looking at that belly, I'm calling GIRL!!!

**********************************

-16 and hell has finally frozen over

2011-01-24T15:40:00.002-05:00

it was -16 with the wind chill this morning.

No school.

and when it gets like this, all I want to do is COOK!!!

so I made a big 'ole pot of vegetable soup, and I need to either buy some crusty Tuscan bread to go with it, or make some kind of a biscuit-y thing.

I've already had 2 bowls. GOOD! a whole head of cabbage went in there.

Austin was like, "Dang mom, this stuff will feed us for THREE days!"

Ya, there's alot of it.

When it gets cold like this, I just want to warm the whole house up and have it smell sooooo good. may as well, since there is no way I'm stepping foot outside today!

Poor little Murff froze his little man balls off this morning!!

Electric company

2011-01-22T14:46:00.002-05:00

tell me this:

have you ever had an instant "connection" with someone?

felt that electricity?

felt like you were alive for the first time in your life>

felt like that person "got" you?

When? what happened to that "connection"?

I've only felt it twice in my life time.

It's addicting.

It's passionate.

and when it's gone, it's devastating.

Dream a LIttle Dream

2011-01-20T12:18:00.002-05:00

So I'm talking to Betts yesterday morning..

the girl is a mush head, and I say that with much affection.

she locked her keys in her car the night before, but didn't even realize it till she went to leave in the morning and couldn't find her keys.

and another mush head move? She was making cupcakes...then putting them in the paper liners. Joey, who's 6, told her, "Mom, you're supposed to put the paper liners in the muffin cups and then put the cupcake batter in them and bake them." "No joey! you can't do that! they'll catch on fire!"

Outta the mouths of babes, huh? ;)

so I'm talking to her, after having called AAA to come and unlock her car to get her keys..and she told me that Joey and Bree had played "beauty shop" and cut each others hair.

(crickets chirping)

Bree's hair was looooooong...down to her butt. and beautiful, with soft little curls at the end.

Now?

It's up to her shoulders. with a short little bang included.

I almost cried! Her hair was so long!

Oh well, it's only hair, right?

********************************

so Dirtbike Boy has informed me that he and his best friend will be making a "road trip" this summer. To Alaska. or Washington. Or Oregon. somewhere far away with woods, where he can go "off the grid".

I think the Boy has been inhaling too many "5 Guys" fumes.

And after graduation, he and the best friend will be driving to California in a van and setting up shop somewhere. They want to open up a little beach shack somewhere, rent surf boards and have a little diner that serves great sandwiches. (Man Vs. Food will be along to test them, im sure)

I'm all for THAT.

Walking to Alaska or Oregon? not so much.
yes, I said WALKING. or riding motorcycles.

And I understand all of this. Bina and I had big plans and dreams for after graduation...moving to California (hmmm..wonder where he gets it from?), living on the beach, riding horses, and somewhere in there we would have grown long blond hair and massive boobs.

Needless to say, it didn't happen. California OR the massive boobs. Well, for me anyway. :)

Everyone needs a dream, right?

you have GOT to be kidding me

2011-01-18T12:16:00.002-05:00

I must have lost my blooming mind.

I have committed to do a 60 mile kayak race in May.

WHAT AM I THINKING???

I can't do that!

I've never even been IN a kayak before.

I did a canoe thing once...down the river. It was an all day thing...a leisurely little romp down the river...stop for lunch along the banks..."Oh look at the pretty trees! Look at that farm over there!"

Um..I don't think that this is gonna be anything like that at all.

But you know what?

I'm pumped.

REALLY pumped.

I think I can do it!!!!!!

I'm ready to throw a wrench into my physical life.

I'm ready to do something different and obscure and crazy.

I think this qualifies.

So I have to start training, and I'm not quite sure how I go about that, but I'm ready to take it on.

2011-01-10T14:47:00.003-05:00

so it might not be TOO bad only having one kid at home.

;)

I've gotten alot done in the past couple of days...busy busy busy.

cleaning out, painting to come...clearing out clutter. and taking lots and lots of photos.

BUSY!!!!

My heart is still hurting a little...I haven't seen that boys face since Friday. And we spend every day together so thats a long time! But he's getting out and thats good. They gotta leave sometime, right? I mean, that's what my job is, right?...to give them what they need to move on with confidence and go make their own lives....independent of me? I guess Im doing what I gotta do then.

So I'll be spending February and March in NC...where should I go after that? :)

2011-01-05T15:18:00.003-05:00

Well another one is leaving the nest.

Friday I will be down to just one boy at home.

And it scares me!

Things are changing so fast around here...yet it's taken years to get to this point.

When the kids were little, I dreamed of the day when they would all fly the coop and leave me and the hubs alone in the house together. We could take baths together! We could walk around naked whenever we wanted to! and have sex whenever and where ever we wanted to!

WOOHOO!

Now that time is fast approaching and it scares the hoohaw outta me.

What if it's not as amazing as I thought it would be? What if we don't want to "do it" all the time, like we planned? :)

What if I don't know who I am without my kids? THAT'S the big Question here.

The past year, I've been carving out a nice little life for myself, separate from being a Mom....I have wonderful friends who love me and think Im funny...and actually want to spend time with me! Without My Kids in tow! Who woulda thunk it?

Its so hard at the start...when your kids are little and your whole world revolves around them. You don't work outside the house cuz raising your kids is important to you and what you feel is best for everyone. No offense to Working Mom's..more power to ya! I just knew that I couldn't do it...I couldn't do both jobs and excel at them both. so I chose one to excel at, and I feel I've done that. I have some fantastic kids if I do say so myself! I genuinely LIKE each and every one of them. Any friends that you make tend to have kids around the same age as yours....you become friends with the friends parents...you spend time at each other's houses...watching the kids play and talking about kids. it's KIDS all the time.

But now, they are leaving the nest...and that's what they're supposed to do. That's what I've raised them to do. I do NOT want a 45 year old man still living at home with his mama...no. freaking. way. :)

So Once again, I have to look in the mirror and see who it is I am now. She's not bad looking as far as looks go...better than some....uglier than others. Oh well. I make do with what I have.

I guess I need to try and see myself as others see me, and that's hard.

and to top it all off, im being stalked on facebook. I know....has nothing to do with what I was talking about.!! But a person I have tried to avoid has been creeping my page. So not cool. and all under the guise of another name. SOOOOOOOO not cool. So I think Facebook has lost some of the appeal for me. Time to move on perhaps.

Where is all this going? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!

it's a time of reflection and inspiration and of dreaming.

2010-12-28T10:15:00.003-05:00

Ya know what I hate?

hold on, this could take a while. :)

I hate it when people mis-represent themselves.

To try and "sneak in the back door" sort of thing.

Come at me honestly and as an adult..

not as an immature child.

We can talk as adults, the way mature people do.

But don't be sneaky

or creepy.

That will get you NO WHERE.

2010-12-20T11:41:00.001-05:00

Missing my Mom this Christmas season.

Looking back, there has been alot of death in my life.

And I just found out that 2 other relatives have cancer...one stage 4 and in the last days of life.

Cancer sucks balls

2010-12-15T13:05:00.002-05:00

I wonder about:

...are ScarJo's boobs real? they LOOK real.

...why some people just cannot let go. Move on. Give up. GROW UP.

...is John Travolta REALLY Gay? I don't really care one way or the other, but people are PASSIONATE about this debate....

...what life would be like today if Bina and I had really moved to CA when we graduated from high school...

...if Murphy loves me as much as I love him. I think he does... :)

...if Im too high maintenance..( i kinda like alot of attention..or I feel abandoned)

...should I just break down and get that tattoo Im always talking about? on my forearm?

...if eating pumpkin bread before noon cancels out any bad calories.

...and if eating 10 tiny muffins equals one BIG muffin

...would winning the lottery bring my brother back around? asking for money? and would I give it to him? or would I be a witch about it? I hope not. (about being a witch..not about winning!)

...I wish I had a fantastic party to go to so I could get a cute little dress and a fabulous pair of heels that I can't walk in.

...I wish I knew what Rae and Mike were having...there are SO many cute baby clothes on sale right now...cute GIRL stuff...that I would LOVE to buy. :)

...im feeling ......"boxed in" again and think a trip is in order.

...now that Ryan Reynolds is single again, should I give him a chance? or make him beg?

2010-12-13T13:02:00.002-05:00

I am being a Scrooge.

I really do not like the holidays.

I kinda just want them to be over with already.

I'm trying, I really am....

I'm baking....Im decorating....I have "christmas tree" candles burning...

blah. blah. blah.

It's the "family" thing...and all that.

I guess I need a "new attitude".

So...

what store do I go to, to get me one of those?

:)

The windows are fogging up!

2010-12-05T12:08:00.003-05:00

Ya'll know my mother wasn't the BEST mother out there....

butttttttttttttt....

I DO have some good memories.

One memory that really stands out to me right now is when i was little...maybe 4-6 years old. Now her drinking was really really bad at this time...I knew there was something wrong, but, of course, didn't what it was.

But I remember the days when she would make wedding soup.

My mom wasn't Italian. She was German. My Dad is Italian. And when they got married, his aunts took my mom under their wings and taught her how to cook "Italian" food. and when she was pregnant with my brother, they would make her fried pepper sandwiches with melted mozzarella on top. She would make these for me too...YUM.

But back to the wedding soup.

She would cook the chicken for a long time..and then chill the broth and clarify it a couple times...this was a multiple day undertaking to make Italian Wedding soup.

I would help her chop all the celery and carrots and onions...teeny tiny little pieces, sneaking some along the way. and she would cook this in the chicken broth and let me tell you....we lived in a tiny little 4 room house and the smell would permeate the whole place. the windows would fog up...it was a special occasion!

And the meatballs. THE MEATBALLS!!! I never really knew what she put in them but I remember rolling tiny little baby meatballs, and then she would bake them in the oven. the meatballs have always been my favorite part of wedding soup! then she would make the breading. I, to this day, do not know how to make it. There is no recipe from her...she had it in her head. But it was the best part too, next to the meatballs. and the Escarole floating in it...omg.

so today I am making Wedding Soup.

There will be no clarifying of the broth....too much trouble. :)

But there are tiny pieces of celery and carrots and onions.

and in place of the breading there will be Italian salad croutons. hey! Ya gotta improvise, right?

and meatballs.

Lots of little tiny meatballs.

In honor of my mom.

2010-11-30T14:57:00.002-05:00

I am going to be bitching in this post..

so if you don't wanna hear it..leave now.

I'll wait for you to leave.

ok................

I hate being made to feel like a second class citizen.

I hate passive aggressive people.

I hate childish adults.

I hate the silent treatment.

I hate being controlled.

I hate feeling lonely in a house full of people.

I hate that it's WORK to be around some people.

I hate fake, phony people.

I hate having to justify having friends.

I hate everything and everybody right now.

ass loving yogurt

2010-11-18T10:49:00.002-05:00

I really miss "Will & Grace".

I watch it every morning on Lifetime...LIFETIME of all channels! I guess since they have "Project Runway" now they're all liberal and crap. :)

Tranny said something on his blog the other day about missing W&G too...I tried to comment but I couldn't...stupid facebook...errrr blogger.

that show was funny. FUNNY.

And I LOVED Karen and Jack...and Will and Grace. I loved the way Grace dressed...

Rae and I would go shopping and see a dress or an outfit and say, "that's very 'Grace-like'".

And I also love "the New Adventures of Old Christine".

which also got cancelled.

why do I always get to the party late and miss all the good stuff?

******************************

gotta take Dirtbike Boy back to the chiropractor on Saturday. His neck is bothering him again and he is in alot of pain. No word on the lawsuit yet either....but I DO have to say this about DB...

I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!

He brought home 3 A's on his report card! 1 B and 1 C. and has only missed ONE day this year so far. shoot...last year it was a major struggle to get him up in the morning, let alone get him to go to school. he loves going to the career and technical school he goes to this year...LOVESIT. and he's doing fabulous! He's working and going to school....never complains about either one..(well almost never complains!) he wants more hours at work...he only has 8 hours this week. He was enjoying those $300 paychecks he was getting there for a while....!!! Money IS a good motivator.

But he's doing fantastic...except for the pain in his neck and back. But we will get that worked out, I hope.

**************************

Everyone else is doing good. Rae and Mike are coming home for Thanksgiving and we are having her Baby Shower then. WOOHOO!!!!! I love buying baby stuff...esp. for a baby that will be MINE!!!! sorta mine...ok..not mine..HERS,,,but I get to hold it anytime I want to. Well, whenever I visit them or they visit us...but when they DO I will be holding that baby all the time.

**************************

I have a couple weddings booked...engagement photos out the wahzoo.....and a couple of nibbles from some other places.....don't want to jinx it! But the photography thing is actually a THING now, which totally blows me away.

**************************

Murphy is MURPHY. I LOVELOVELOVE him.....but he and Maddie haven't become friends yet. She is such a DIVA. He tried really hard, but she really doesn't know what to do with him. and I don't trust that girl for a hot minute...she will snatch him up by his neck the first chance she gets, I just know it. So I have to watch them like a hawk and keep them separated most of the time. It's a slow process and Im taking my time with it. Cuz Baby Girl is also BIG GIRL and would eat him for an appetizer. :)

*************************

I also love yoplait yogurt. the whips and the regular kind....key lime pie and pineapple upside down cake? I heart you very much. and so does my ass.

2010-11-17T10:27:00.002-05:00

I've noticed something...

Im not the only one who has neglected her blog.

There are alot of blogs that I used to read that don't even exist anymore.

Is blogging "over"?

I started this blog around 4-5 years ago...can't remember. Guess I could look on the sidebar, huh? :)

But I started it as an outlet for myself, and in the process, met some wonderful hilarious friends.

I mean, REAL LIFE FRIENDS. not just "internet friends".

and without this blog, I wouldn't have them in my life....and I think you all know who you are.

We know each other....some know each other better than others, but we still KNOW each other. I turn to you guys before I turn to people Im actually related to!

So is blogging done?

I know Im on that freaking, dreadful Facebook all the time, and here's the thing...

it is so easy. I just check in, read a few lines of some one's status update and Im done. No long posts to read...no long posts to write....it's so easy.

But Im feeling the need to "re-connect" with people...

I miss the friendships that we forged through blogging...I miss the daily checking in on someone to see how they are...I miss all of YOU. Im lonely!!!!!! :)

I used to think, "OMG! I can't wait to tell Tranny what happened today! he will DIE!" or "I wonder what Dog would say about this...?"

now it's all, "THATS A FACEBOOK STATUS!" "IM GONNA FACEBOOK THIS!"

Sooo....are we still connected like we once were? I know I've been a HORRIBLE friend to some of you and haven't checked in with you in forevahhhhhh...

has the time passed or do we keep on blogging away?

2010-11-15T09:23:00.003-05:00

What song always gets you "going"?

The song that you need to listen to, to get ready to go out?

The song that makes you want to clean the house? :)

The song that you can't help but sing along to?

The one that always makes you wanna dance?

For me...right now...it's

"Carry Out" from Timbaland and Justin Timberlake.

I love me some JT.

I know it's old, but I can't help but sing and dance to it!

2010-11-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

ok..

what's this Tumblr thing?

Im sooooo outta the loop. :)

St. Pete's Beach

2010-11-06T10:58:00.003-04:00

I'm back in Ohio.

Can you hear the compete and utter sadness in my voice as I say that?

Florida was WONDERFUL!!!!!!

We now have a NEW destination for future living.

sorry Outer banks...but you've been replaced.

No...don't cry....we'll still visit, I'm sure.

Flights were good (tho a little rough on the way home....storms in Florida. Lots of turbulance and one lady on the place even screamed when the plane dropped a little bit!)

we ate good..I gained 2 lbs., but it was well worth it.

I'm tan and I have freckles. I like freckles.

It was restful and peaceful and lovely.

ALONE!!!!

2010-10-26T14:17:00.004-04:00

Soooooooooooo..........

My husband has surprised me.

Never thought he could do that.

But he did.

We had made plans to go to Florida to visit very very good friends of ours that live there.

Now, ya'll know that we have never gone anywhere together...ALONE.....well, we did ONCE. We went to Cleveland and stayed in a hotel and went to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Nice time. But that was probably 10, 11 years ago.

So, we really wanted to go somewhere together..ALONE.

So, since Lynn and Penny live in Florida, we thought, "why not? Let's go see them!"

But as many of you know....Lynn is our former Pastor...along with one of our best friends in the world.

Now......I don't know about YOU, but I just cannot have sex in my Pastor's house...regardless if he's my pastor still or not. and I want to have some sex on this trip, ok???!!!

So we thought we'd stay a few days with them and then get a hotel for a few days.

Well.....Husband has surprised me.

He has booked us into a Sirata Beach Resort, in St. Petersburg, FL.

FOR A WEEK!

OCEANFRONT!

ALL ALONE!!

FOR A WEEK!!!!

AT THE BEACH!!!

Ok...who's as shocked as I am? :)

We leave Saturday. On a plane. TOGETHER.

We have never been on a plane together.

and I have had the "travel bug" for the past few weeks BAAAADDDDDD.

I love traveling...flying...airports....new people.....LOVESIT!!!

So I have been eating yogurt all week long ...no carbs...no pop...no bloating on the beach! I'm so shallow.

and I'm not packing very many clothes either....

hopefully I won't need very many. ;)

Smurfy Murphy

2010-10-22T17:52:00.001-04:00

Murff the Smurf

2010-10-21T08:38:00.002-04:00

Murphy

Smurfy Murphy

The Murfinator

Mr. Murphy

Murff Murff

I am so in love with this dog!!!

I am so thankful that I decided to get him.

He has livened up this house, let me tell ya.

He is spunky and feisty and full of personality. He loves to snuggle and he sleeps right by my side at night. I wake up in the middle of the night to find him licking my nose..or chewing only ear lobe. I LOVE HIM!!! He sleeps on his back with his head on my shoulder and just passes out.

he's actually walking on a leash now and doing a great job. I walk him down the road every day and he walks like a proud little soldier...trotting along beside me..on a mission.

I never thought I'd be a "Little Dog Person". I LOVE my Labs...they're still the best dogs ever. But this little guy? he's pretty good too.

but I refuse to get a dog stroller. Sorry Bean! I just cannot do that. Rae and I saw a woman at the mall last year, with her dog in a stroller and we just looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I refuse to become one of those crazy old women!!! ;)

But Maddie Girl still doesn't like him. so we keep them separated most of the time. She smells him...he wiggles like crazy to get to her...but she won't have any of it. We walked them both in the yard yesterday....she pretty much ignored him. It went...ok. We will be doing that every day...outside...till she can get her act together. he aint goin no where girl...get with the program!!!

I still miss Trooper terribly...every single day. But I know he would have loved Murphy and would have been teaching him all kinds of ornery things.

His best friend, Kitty, lives on our porch. He torments that cat every day....playing with his tail..pulling his whiskers...cleaning his ears..and Kitty just takes it all in. Of course, Marvin is scared to death of cats...(they're evil) and says I have to get rid of it or he's going to shoot it. so I'm trying to find him a home before Winter. But I wouldn't mind keeping him...he;s very friendly.

So my days revolve around Murff Murff right now. and they're good days.

2010-10-14T14:02:00.003-04:00

46 degrees out and rainy...

so Im partaking of a huge bowl of butter beans with lots of rosemary.

I think rosemary might be my favorite herb...I put it in all kinds of stuff. and when I cut it, or brush up against it...the aroma fills my kitchen. LOVE THAT!!!

*******************

Took Murphy ( ya...he's no longer Rocky) to visit with his brother, and they played for 2 hours and now he is knocked. out. I LOVE this dog. and to think I almost didn't get him....how empty my days would have been. he has been the best medicine for the whole family. We can actually talk about Trooper without breaking into tears now. and we know Trooper would have loved Murphy, so that helps too.

*********************

I've gained 7 pounds. SHIT!!!!! Im not walking. I need to get back to it. simple as that. I REFUSE to gain this weight back. I was almost to my goal weight too.....I hate myself right now. weak. UGH. ( i guess eating a whole stinking bag of starburst doesn't help either) :(

********************

So Marvin and I want to get away for a weekend. He wants to go somewhere warm...I want to go to California and see Zombie Mom and Fighting Mad Mary again. he's never met them and I want him to BAAADDDDDDD. and we so need to get away by ourselves. haven't done that in years....Evan finally got his license (YAYAYAY!), so I don't feel so bad leaving the boys home by themselves. They are responsible enough to handle it for 4 days....good boys. (at least I think so till something happens!)

So do any of ya'll have any good ideas on where to go, for CHEAP?

*************

um, the above post? ya...scratch that. Im not going anywhere with him. the end.

2010-10-12T19:20:00.002-04:00

The funeral for Marty was yesterday.

I hate funerals....but I guess everyone does, huh?

What thought did I come away with?

that Millie has an AWESOME family and they will get her through this.

There are 5 children and they are ALL close.

they surrounded her with love and comfort and laughter. And they will get her through this.

They will be there for her kids.

And it made me realize, more than ever, what I don't have.

I want that.

I want her family to be mine.

I told her brother Jose last night...

"If I ever covet anything, it's your family."

I was talking to Rae tonight, and I told her that's what I want for her and her brothers and sister.

I want them to be CLOSE...to always be there for each other, no matter haw far apart they in the country.

I want the cousins to grow up together...to spend the night together....to go to Uncle Bud's house and know that they will have FUN with him. That Uncle Football will wrestle with them till they fall down from so much laughter.

That Auntie Rae will play school and do crafts and bake them cookies and Auntie Betts will teach them how to cuss. :) that Uncle Austin will give them rides on his back and on his dirtbike.....

I want them to have that closeness, so that when Marvin and I die one day...they will have the support that they"ll need from each other.

Family is everything.

too bad some people don't realize this till it's too late.

I will NOT let this happen to me.

Dr. Martin T. Manning

2010-10-07T10:02:00.002-04:00

Marty is gone.

While i'm so so sad.....i'm happy and relieved too.

To watch him suffer these past few months has been sheer torture.

So we have to have a happy heart.

It was a long, long battle and he fought it admirably...with much grace and humor.

We love you Marty and will see you again one day. Be free.

2010-10-06T15:06:00.002-04:00

soooooooooo..........

here we go again.

i had a request for a "friend" on good old Facebook.

from someone that I don't really know...have never met in person....just heard things about from someone else.

sorry for being cryptic.

and this has come out of the blue....outta no where.

While I don't know this person in "person"....I sort of know "of" them.....

so, do I "friend" them?

Especially when I think its all being set up by a third party who is trying to "creep" me without actually being "friends" with me.

Does that make sense?

This third party is the only link I have to the person who requested the friendship.

Something smells fishy in River City.

2010-10-02T12:43:00.003-04:00

So I went and did it.

I got The Puppy.

and Im soooo glad I did.

he has made the transition a whole lot easier. Big shoes to fill, for such a little guy, but he's doing a fine job...and I know Trooper would have LOVED this little guy.

His name is Rocky.....so far! Porr little thing has had a hundred names so far. I really like JackJack and Rosco too....gotta see if he's actually a "Rocky".

I love him. :)

Trooper

2010-09-25T09:57:00.002-04:00

I finally did IT.

while I know it was the Right thing to do...my heart is broken and bleeding all over the place.

My Trooper is gone.

and I don't know how to navigate the house without him in it.

Where is he? he's supposed to be sleeping right in front of the fan, with his dog hair blowing all over the place.

He supposed to come walking over to me in the morning, ready for his meds and his breakfast.

He supposed to be laying at my feet while I work on the computer...rolling around, "washing his face" with his paws.

in case you haven't noticed, I don't handle death very well.

But then, who does, right?

It seems like, I have had to say good bye to too many people lately.

I'm almost to the point that I think, "having a pet just isn't worth this heartache".

I'm supposed to be getting a little Yorkie next Saturday. SUPPOSED to be.

But on this day, at this time right now...I don't want the cute little thing.

Maddie is left here without Her Boy, and she's having a hard time.

She slept by Austin's side last night, and I slept on the couch to be near her. Austin slept on the floor with her. and Evan was wandering the house all night long, unable to sleep and unable to stop crying.

I know alot of people will say, "Oh for goodness sake, IT WAS JUST A DOG! NOT A PERSON!"

and I don't really care what "they" say...never have and hopefully, I never will. :)

Trooper was My Baby. He was special...(ya, Special Ed.! that's what the boys used to say to me all the time!)

I have NEVER had a dog like him before.

He was kind and loving, and forgiving, and funny. he always made me smile with his goofy antics. I could walk out to the mailbox and come back in the house, and he would be SO happy to see me! Like I had been gone forever! he loved me like no one ever has before.

And now to be in this house, where he lived for 13 years.....it's empty and lonely and not right. I know I will get over it, but I'll never be the same person I was before. he made me a better person he taught me to love and to forgive and to enjoy life and to run as fast as I can around the yard just cuz I feel like it.

He taught me to eat the whole chocolate-coconut cake if I can get the refrigerator door open. And nothing tastes better that potato peelings out of the garbage can.

Trooper was stubborn and I know he would have never given up on his own. It was my duty to make that decision for him, and I made it. I hated it, but I did it.

He couldn't walk anymore. His hind end just wouldn't work. we had to help him stand up and help him walk outside to go to the bathroom. and sometimes when he tried to do it himself, he couldn't make it and would have an "accident" which would devastate him. I couldn't let that happen anymore. AS Dog told me, "let him die with dignity".

So I did.

Evan carried him to the car and then carried him into the vet's office. he placed him tenderly on the table and and held him while the vet gave him the shot. I held his head and whispered in his ear the whole time, telling him what a good boy he was and how much we all loved him and would miss him, but it was time for him to go and to be with our other dog Jake. Im sure they are having a blast playing together again.

And yes, I believe that "All Dogs Go To Heaven". I know some people don't...but I do. God made these animals, he knows what a bond we have with our animals, and if heaven is "all that" and such a great place to spend eternity, then my dogs will definitely be there, waiting for me. Enuf said.

I'm holding his head, talking to him and kissing him, and then the life just went out of his eyes. he was gone. just like that. He was gone.....running and playing with Jake and sitting by my Mom, and she was loving him till I can get there to do it myself.

I believe this with all my heart.

I miss you Mighty Trooper Thunderbolt Hill...Troopie Doopie....Bubba. I love you and I miss you so damn much. My heart will never be whole.

2 years

2010-09-20T11:04:00.002-04:00

Sept. 20

2 years ago my mom died.

Or I should say, I pulled the plug on my mom.

Ya, that's harsh, but that's the way I feel.

sometimes I wonder...if she had never had the surgery...would she still be alive and kicking? would she just have passed away in her sleep one night? How can she be ok one week and dead the next?

I don't get it.

I think back to all the times that crazy woman drove. me. nuts. I mean NUTS. and all the times I didn't call her.

or go see her.

or take her to the store with me..

and what I wouldn't give today to be able to do that.

hindsight is 20/20, right? :(

It's been a very rough 2 years. I kind of lost my blooming mind there for a little bit.

Grief took over my life in so many ways, yet I didn't show it. I didn't let it out.

I'm still grieving today but at least it's not so bad.

I miss her.

I miss her so. so. much.

so many changes have come and will be coming, and I know she would want to be here for them.

Yes, our family will be expanding again soon.

And since I have no family but my Blog Family, ya, I'm telling ya'll!!!

My Rae is gonna have a baby! WOOHOO!!!

It just shows me that life goes on....despite our not wanting it to sometimes.

and I know that my mom has met this little baby already......while we have to wait till February! LUCKY!

So while I miss that Crazy Old Bat something awful....

I'm also thankful for what she taught me. ya, she was a horrible mother.

But she was an AWESOME grandmother.

and I learned from both of those experiences.

Bike Ride

2010-09-14T07:07:00.004-04:00

We had the Marty Manning Cancer Benefit Bike Ride!

It was a success.

About 32 people rode bikes and all but one finished the 35 mile trek.

and almost $20,000 have been raised so far!

WOOHOO!!!!!

It was a cold rainy day....but other than that, it was fun.

Marty was able to make it to Youngstown State University to see the riders off. He couldn't make it to the football game at Thiel but that's ok.

Marty is doing.....well. We visit him often..just to spend time with him.

Thanks to all of you who have asked about him. means alot to me.

More jumbled thoughts running through my head

2010-09-03T15:23:00.002-04:00

so I've lost about 45 pounds now.

woohoo! right?

not so much.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a difference.

Body image problems? ya, probably.

I find myself obsessing about what I eat...how much I eat..when I eat...IF I eat.

I've gained back some of the weight and it drives me nuts.

I haven't been walking as much as I was...not doing the pilates or the yoga either.

I love buying new clothes, but when I look in the mirror...I see no difference, and it's frustrating.

I KNOW there's a difference, cuz I'm in an 8 now...almost a 6, down from a 16. WOOHOO!!! Do you know how long it's been since I wore a size EIGHT??!!!! years, people...YEARS.

But at what cost? My sanity? :) I LOVE food, and it's really hard to eat "right". and I don't want to obsess about every bite that goes into my mouth.

am I gonna have to do this for the rest of my freaking life? Is it worth it?

I know it's worth it. My fibro hasn't been near as bad since I've lost weight. I still have pain but not like it used to be. And that's a good thing.

and Im gonna be really really brutally honest here ok?

I was hoping that if I lost weight, my marriage would get better. I thought my husband would like me more...me nicer to me....show me some affection....maybe want to take me out..be seen with me.

It hasn't really worked. :(

Oh, we get along well enough.....most of the time.

But I still feel like an after thought with him most of the time.

Wow, I can't believe I'm saying this on here. eeekkkkkkkk!

I'm still here. I'm being ME...which I haven't been in a long time.

and I don't think he likes this "me" as much as the "other me". Does that make sense at all?

Where am I going? I don't know!

Just some thoughts running through my head right now. and it comes down to alot more than just losing weight. Some people think I should lose about 200 pounds. :) HAHAHA!

the racial thing again

2010-09-01T12:00:00.003-04:00

I'm reading this book:

"Just Don't Bring a White Boy Home"

I've been in an interracial relationship for 24 years.

Yes, we had problems at the start...with us and with outsiders and family.

and 24 years later? we are still having some of the same problems.

and I'm going to be very very honest here...

I don't think I would recommend it to people.

It's so much "easier" to stay inside your race.

There, I said it.

Does that mean that "they" were right when they told me to "stay away from Black guys"?

Not necessarily.

I met my husband in 1986. a loooong time ago, but you think, "Oh the 80's....times were ok then...at least it wasn't the 60's"

But when I had my daughter Betsy in 1982, I had to hide and lie about being pregnant, because my boyfriend was Black. My family wanted to send me to a "home for un-wed mothers" in a different city so that no one would see me. They would tell everyone I was in California with my father. The 80's? or the 60"s? You tell me.

So you all know that I was forced to put Betsy up for adoption cuz my family wouldn't let me keep her...and Baby Daddy couldn't help cuz he also had 3 other girls who were pregnant at the same time. They were Black..I was the only White girl. His family refused to help me. So I did what I had to do. Not my choice...it was awful, but it all turned out for the best in the end, since I now have her and my grand babies in my life.

So this book is written by a Black woman, and how society won't let Black women date White guys. The slavery thing and all that mess.

And of course...there was the "sex thing"....and namely, penis size.

People...a penis is a penis. plain and simple. Some White guys have big ones...some Black guys have big ones. I really don't think penis size depends on your race. There are big and little ones of all colors!

There are big cultural differences, but sex isn't really one of them. Sex is sex....sometimes it's good ..sometimes it's bad. We've all had good sex and we've all had bad sex. Did it depend on the race of the person you were with? I don't think so. I think it's more "chemistry" than race...but that's just my opinion.

I can say this: I'm just more attracted to darker skin. that's just my preference...probably cuz I'm so White! ;) But some people prefer a red head, or someone who is tall...i just prefer darker skin. Not necessarily a Black Man, just darker skin than mine. Does that mean I won't look at a White guy? nooo...I've dated White guys before. But I guess in the long run, it comes down to what attracts you the most. I have asked my husband why he married me instead of a Black woman, and he said this: "Black women are too loud". I just don't even know what to say about that...cuz anyone who knows me, knows Im obnoxious and loud!!! :) But this is the man who, when I would drive the car, would duck down so no one saw him sitting in the passenger side..or would tell his friends that his girlfriend was "Italian" so he didn't have to actually say I was White. Gee....think I should have seen this way back then?! DUHHHHHHH. :)

But I never dated a Black man to "rebel" against my family or anything like that. that was never my intention. Ever. In fact, I chose the harder road when I dated a Black man....

My family was against it. whole heartedly against it. So was his family. I've had 2 serious relationships with Black men..one I married. and both families were against me cuz I was White. and I had a child.

If it hadn't been for my Aunt Pearl accepting my husband, my family probably never would have accepted him. she broke the ice and introduced him to everyone. she was totally on our side from the get-go. God bless her. She helped us immensely.

and my husband's family still doesn't like me. they still don't know my name, after 24 years. Well, the truth is this...i think the DO know my name, but purposely call me a different name to show me that I don't matter to them...I'm not important enough to remember my name.

and that hurts. it really does. I have no family left. my husband and my kids are it for me. I have a few cousins that I talk to from time to time...but there are no family reunions...no family dinners on Sunday afternoon...no get togethers at Christmas time....my friends become my "family".

So where is all this going? I don't know. I'm rambling. But I just want to know these things:

1. have you ever dated outside your race?

2. why or why not?

3. what was the outcome? was society against you? family? friends?

thanks. I'm just being nosy again. :) Sorry I'm all over the place with this, and my thoughts are so jumbled...I just write as I think...I don't expect to be graded on it.

Youngstown News, Benefit bike ride to roll from YSU to Thiel College

2010-08-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

Youngstown News, Benefit bike ride to roll from YSU to Thiel College

Austin and Santino

2010-08-27T08:58:00.002-04:00

I have a new obsession...

"On the road with Austin and Santino" on Lifetime.

came on after Project Runway last night.

I LOVE SANTINO!!!

I always liked him when he was on PR, but now? EVEN MORE SO.

The premise is this: they drive all over the country, fulfilling different women's dreams of a fabulous dress for some occasion.

They drive to BFE, out in the middle of NO WHERE, and have a few days to design a dress.

They did a wedding dress last night that was FABULOUS!!! They were in Oklahoma.....way back in the woods somewhere...HILARIOUS!!!

They have to find a place to work, find fabric at some little country store...do all the sewing at Betsy's Quilt Shop or some place like that....

the laughs just never stop!

And Santino is sooo lazy! Austin Scarlett does most of the work...while Santino "naps".

So, the one show I watched last night..(i think I watched 4 in a row!) they're in Oklahoma again...and Austin "goes into town" to find some stuff for the dress they're making. He walks into this store....and the guy working there just stares. at. him. He has his son there too...probably around 12 yrs. old...and he just. stares. at. Austin.

I can imagine him lookin up at his dad and saying:

"Daddy....what is that?"

"Why...I don't rightly know son...I think it's a woman....but I'm not really sure."

And Austin just prances through the store like he shops there all the time!! LOVE him!!!

It's a great show...only 1/2 hour long...very entertaining. The chemistry they have together is fantastic....you can tell they really like each other, and it's not all just for the show. Tho it IS very scripted and they're not actors, but still.......I LOVED IT!!!

So stay around after Project Runway and watch this show next week, if you haven't already.

and about PR.....last night was the 2nd show I watched...I missed seeing that one guy get "thrown under the bus"......what was that all about? what happened? anyone watch it?

2010-08-21T21:01:00.002-04:00

I made my way to my first winery.

Friends of mine go all the time...

drink wine and tour the winery.

Well, this time I was finally able to go.

and I loved it.

Got lots of great shots and left a business card too.

Networking!!! you'd be proud of me Dog!!! lol

So next week, I'll go North and hit a few more. and maybe drink a glass or 2 of wine while I'm there....tho I'm not much of a drinker.

***************************

So I've been sleeping on the couch again.

The bats are back and booming.

We've only had 2 so far this summer, but one actually LANDED ON MY FACE AND NECK in the middle of the night. Then the following week, we had another one at 3:30am....Marvin tries to whack it with a tennis racket. it lands on the bed and STARTS TO CRAWL UNDER THE COVERS.....so he hits it with all his might. Only he didn't actually hit the bat...he hit my f&^%$#% ankle!!!!!!! I thought it was broken! But hey, he eventually got the bat, so I didn't care. Ankle is still black and blue and swollen...but not broken.

I've asked him a number of times to clean out the closet and see where they're coming in. I think they're coming in around the chimney and the chimney is in the closet....so....clean it out..and check all the nooks and crannies. I will help him as long as it's during the day. :) But I've had no luck with this yet. So I am on the couch. Again. (sigh)

**********************************

I have some really fantastic exciting news that I cannot wait to share...but I haven't been given permission yet. It's not exactly MY news but it is in a way......how cryptic is THAT?!! :) But it's all good news and I can't wait to tell you all about it. SOON!!!!!

**********************************

I have been super super busy with this photography thing. Who woulda thunk it, right? :) But it's really going good, and I'm loving every minute of it.

**********************************

and for all of you asking me...No, I haven't heard from Bina!!!!! I have called her...sent her messages on Facebook...left voice mails..yada yada...the girl will not call me back! She must be busy with her New Man....cuz if things were bad, she'd be calling me! So don't worry about her. I'm not. But I DO miss her terribly.

**********************************

My youngest boy will be 16 on Monday. SIXTEEN. Where has the time gone? especially since I'm only 29. :-)

BITCH FEST

2010-08-14T11:23:00.003-04:00

no, I am not PMS'ing.

But I am bitchy today.

Why do people think that I don't have anything better to do than WAIT ON THEM HAND AND FOOT?

I can't just drop what I'm doing and come get your ass...

or take your ass somewhere...

or wipe that ass for goodness sake!

I HAVE A LIFE TOO!

and if you're gonna cook in the middle of the night?

THEN CLEAN UP YOUR FREAKIN MESS!

I hate waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes with dried up food stuck to them.

and while you're at it...

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF IN THE DAMN BATHROOM!

Don't leave water splashed all over the sink...

and wet towels laying on the floor.

HANG THEM UP!

and if you use the last of the toilet paper, for all that is holy...

GET A NEW ROLL OUT!!!!

I hate sitting down and then realizing THERE IS NO FREAKING TOILET PAPER!

and contrary to popular belief, I am NOT a 12 yr. old boy.

Farting is only funny the first time you do it....

and if you don't like what I cooked for dinner then

GET IN THERE AND COOK SOMETHING YOURSELF!!!!

you don't like what I get at the grocery store?

THEN DO THE SHOPPING YOUR OWN DAMN SELF!!!

and if you see tumbleweeds of dog hair rolling across the stinking floor then...

GET THE BROOM AND SWEEP THEM UP!

and last but not least...

STAY OUT OF MY FREAKING WAY TODAY!

ok...

I feel much better now.

2010-08-10T11:10:00.001-04:00

Forget the dog.....

Marvin's friend Marty went to the dr. yesterday. hoping for a new treatment.

Doc said no, his body is too weak.

they give him 1-3 months.

But I saw him sunday....I don't think it will be that long.

Life just sucks sometimes.

2010-08-10T09:16:00.002-04:00

I know today is Tuesday...

But Trooper is doing better. really.

He's been walking the past 2 days...

Really.

and smiling more...

and wagging his tail a little bit.

I think someone else is gonna have to do this, cuz I don't think I can.

I mean, he's rolling around on the floor right now....washing his face after his breakfast.

that's good.

Maybe he's NOT ready.

Cuz I know I'm not.

2010-08-07T08:50:00.002-04:00

I'm home with a "new" car!!

Evan had a HUGE smile on his face when I pulled in the drive...and then he sat in the car for about an hour....sitting,..listening to the radio...learning where everything is. He's happy which makes me VERY happy! Good to see a smile on his face.

I was only gone 2 days but it feels like forever. the dog hair was ROLLING across the kitchen floor like tumbleweed. gross.

But I loved seeing Rae and Mike. They're moving to Fayettville today, to be closer to his new job. Rae got a job teaching 3rd grade there and will get into her classroom on Monday. It's an international school, so she'll be teaching Africa...everything they do is centered around Africa...music class, art class.....and they get skyped in to a classroom in Africa too. So cool. Wish we had something like that here in PoDunkVille.

And it was a long drive home, let me tell ya. I don't know how "traveling salesmen" do it! driving all the time. UGH. But the car did great and it goes fast....I had to try it out, of course. Once I hit Ohio, it was 85 the whole way home! and I only saw 2 cops the whole way...that is, until I got into Ohio...then I saw Troopers everywhere. Damn troopers. :)

But I came home to a very very sad situation. My dog Trooper is ready. He's almost 14....can hardly walk...and he's ready. he looks at me like, "you gotta let me go now...I'm in pain and Im ready". But how do I get ready to be without him? I don't want to see him suffer, Lord knows that....but I love that dog so much. He's my best friend and I love him beyond measure. It's hard to think of coming home and not seeing his goofy face to greet me. But I think he's finally ready and I have to get ready too. So I think come Tuesday, he will be going to the vet. I have a friend who could come to the house and do it for me...but then I'd have to bury him, and hubs won't let me do that...."some animal will dig him up" bullcrap he's spouting. he hardly wags his tail anymore......Trooper not my husband. :)

Thanks for the advice I get from all of you....I put something out there and I always get such good feedback. Thank you!!! I heart all of you!

Not so wonderful Monday morning

2010-08-02T09:18:00.002-04:00

Busy Busy weekend is over.

But I enjoyed it.

I shot a class reunion over the weekend.

It was a weekend-long party for the class of '55!!

I met alot of wonderful people...people so nice to me while I shoved a camera in their face.

Old men flirting with me..to see if they "still got it". (they do!)

"older" women giving me lots of advice on love and life:

"I can't drink alcohol and have sex both....that's why I don't drink."

Stuff like that.

passed out lots of business cards, made lots of contacts.

I've realized that "networking" isn't really my "thing".

I know I need to do it to build up my business, so I can be self-supporting one day (soon I hope), but man that's hard for me to do. I feel like I'm "bragging" or something and it's so difficult to push myself. Maybe I need a publicist, huh? :)

But I'm working on that and I'll get the hang of it soon.

*****************************

So my dirtbike boy rode his bicycle to Lake Erie one day. probably close to 90 miles round trip. WTH? WHO DOES THAT?!!!! :)

I told him when he got home ( took him about 10 hours to do this)...

"Don't even THINK about asking to go anywhere tomorrow.....don't even think about it."

Well, he tells his dad what he did and his dad is like, "Cool! you rode that far!!! WOW!"

Um....HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN TROUBLE HERE!!!!!

So he asks me to go to his friend's house that night, and I look at him like, this is a joke, right? you're kidding, right?

He looks at me all innocent like and points to his face, with a big smile and says to me,

"Mom...see this? it gets me everything I want"

the little shit! he can be so funny at times and then other times, he is soooo moody. Hard being a teenager. I do remember that.

*************************************

Well, it looks like my college bound son is NOT college bound.

We were late getting his deposit money in and now he's on a waiting list for a dorm. #148 on the list. UGH.

he can't stay with his brother who is in Akron cuz the other girls he lives with said no.

We're looking into other avenues but it's not looking good so far.

So he said he'd rather wait a whole year, instead of just a semester, and start next year with all the other freshman, instead of coming onto campus in the middle of the year.

While I see his point, I don't agree with it.

Why sit out a whole year when you only have to sit out a semester?

and this has caused a HUGE fight between his dad and I.

BIG. HUGE.

See, he was originally going to Thiel to play football...his dad's alma mater.

But decided he didn't want to play football anymore. he's burned out and wants to just concentrate on academics.

And since he wasn't paying football, he switched to Akron...Thiel is very very small and there is NOTHING there to do. NOTHING. At least Akron's campus has a vast amount of stuff to do if you're not involved in sports. I mean, our football stadium at our high school is bigger than Thiel's.

So his dad was a little upset about this...and I feel he is screwing him over on purpose.

There is a long history of bad relationship between the two of them....so this is par for the course.

So it has caused great tension in our household once again.

There are many things I do not agree with, and while I am trying to make it on my own, it is taking a while. I'm slowly but surely plugging away at it, tho, and I hope to be self-sufficient one day soon. Cuz there is no talking to his dad....he simply refuses to talk. Not much I can do about that.

********************************

Sooooooooooooooo.............I gotta get busy on the reunion photos so I can get them out to the people who ordered them.

later totes mcgoats!!!!! (I watched I LOVE YOU MAN last night! HILARIOUS movie and one of my favorites. JOBIN!)

2010-07-29T10:05:00.002-04:00

So The Grandbabies have been staying with me all week.

It seems I've forgotten how tiring little people can be...and that I actually have to FEED them at certain times! I'm used to everyone doing their own thing....eating when they get hungry....sleeping when they're tired.

and I really got used to taking a bath without an audience and peeing by myself.

ahhhh, the things we get used to.

So Joey is 5 and LOVES PS2. he wants to play it all. the. time.

I told him,
"Joey, you're a 5 yr. old boy! You need to be outside getting dirty!"

He says he plays it for hours at his dad's house.

"Well, this is MiMi's house and we play outside at MiMi's house."

He doesn't put up too much of a fuss. :)

Bree follows me everywhere and does everything I do. LOVE IT! But she is such a little Tomboy! I'm used to "girlie girls" and she talks about farts and butt cracks and such....you can tell she hangs around her brother alot.

It's been fun having them all week. But DAYUM I'm tired!!!

scooch over Martha

2010-07-24T12:35:00.002-04:00

It's 82 degrees out and hot as Hades in my house (no central air..hubs is a cheap ass mofo)

So what do I do? turn on the oven and make a frittata!

I made the mistake of getting "Giada's Kitchen" from the library the other day,,big mistake. Big...HUGE!!!

I now want to eat only pasta and Italian ices.....

So, I made a frittata for lunch.

I cubed 2 potatoes, sliced a zucchini, added some onion and lots of fresh rosemary and Parmesan...poured in the eggs ( I didn't have any milk so I used evaporated milk..we'll see how it does)...threw that sucker in the oven and BAM. Frittata!!!

I think I have made a turn for the worst, and want to become some Domestic Goddess now.

I'm painting and redecorating and cooking...

WTF? Someone HELP ME!!!!

Can you claim "MUSH HEAD" on your insurance?

2010-07-22T10:36:00.002-04:00

I just washed a load of towels and forgot to put detergent in there.

I once made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and used salt instead of sugar.

I once lost my cell phone while talking to a friend...searched all over for it...then realized I was talking on it.

I once washed my hair with conditioner.

I once asked a pregnant friend when she was finally going to have that baby...she'd had it a week ago.

I've worn my panties backwards.

I've made peach cobbler and forgot to put the sugar in. (im not the best baker in the world)

I've gone on a photo shoot and forgotten my camera battery.

on vacation...walking through the grocery store, wearing shorts and bathing suit top, with a thin t-shirt over top. Men staring at me all through the store..women too!..WOOHOO! IM SEXY!!! noooooooooo....my bathing suit top had come up OVER my boobs, near my neck. Im walking around the store with the Little Girls hanging out...swinging all over the place. no wonder I got stares.

on the road trip to Texas with Bina...had a horrible headache...took 2 Excedrin migraine...butttt, they weren't migraine...they were Excedrine PM. No driving for me that day!

the point of all this?

Im a mush head.

2010-07-20T12:27:00.002-04:00

MY BUCKET LIST:

1....throw a dart at the map of the world...wherever it lands...that's where I go.

2....skydive

3....go to Italy....visit the village where my grandfather grew up. find relatives.

4....rent a convertible and drive up the coast...either coast...doesn't matter.

5....get my pilot's license

6....find my sister

7....vacation in Bora Bora

8....kiss Brad Pitt

9....and The Rock!!!

10...have big HUGE Blogger party, where we all get together and finally meet...and talk..and drink cheap wine and eat fabulous food.

11...spend my last remaining days, hours, minutes with the people I love the most...telling them how much I love them and what they mean to me.

Blind as a Bat

crafty wednesday

Sometimes....

things I would say

no words needed

Murphy

meh

*YAWN*

Hello 2012!!

another christmas over.

Goodbye

29 candles...er...48

gobble.

Life is fleeting

Music to My Ears

I can't quit you!!!

Watch out Chef Dog!! DB is hot on your heels!!

What do I leave?

smellin like helen up in here

another one

ch ch ch changes

sooooooooooo, what do you think about Ice and CoCo?

Hey Y'all!!!

an observation

beans beans the musical fruit...

damn you oprah!

three years really isn't that long at all

Million dollar Listing

Home aint so bad after all

Days can be so long when you're stuck in the car for 10 hours and winding the roads of the PA turnpike

on the road again...how do you do it Tug??!!!!

Ezra Michael, the next US President. :)

Ezra Michael

Peek a Boo, I see you!

When life gives you butter beans, add rosemary and some salt and chow down!

So Long Cold and Ice and Snow (please God let it be warm in NC!)

-16 and hell has finally frozen over

Electric company

Dream a LIttle Dream

you have GOT to be kidding me

The windows are fogging up!

ass loving yogurt

St. Pete's Beach

ALONE!!!!

Smurfy Murphy

Murff the Smurf

Dr. Martin T. Manning

Trooper

2 years

Bike Ride

More jumbled thoughts running through my head

the racial thing again

Youngstown News, Benefit bike ride to roll from YSU to Thiel College

Austin and Santino

BITCH FEST

Not so wonderful Monday morning

scooch over Martha

Can you claim "MUSH HEAD" on your insurance?

YAWN